I believe how we say goodbye is just as important as how we say hello. The lease on my Toyota expired this month so last week I said goodbye to a trusted friend who had been with me for three years. True, I didn’t have the same emotional attachment to this car that I did with the Honda Element I drove for ten years. Still, I am very grateful to the Toyota for all the times it got me back and forth to Orlando or Ocala or wherever else I needed to go. When I first sat in it three years ago I had a feeling it was the car for me. It felt comfortable and I loved the metallic blue stripe that encircled the interior. When I took it for a test drive I liked the way it handled. During that test drive, I happened to look at the clock at exactly 4:44 PM. According to some who work with numerology and the angelic realm, 444 is a sign that angels are around you everywhere and you have nothing to fear. That’s when I knew for sure this was the car for me.
Last week, after I signed the paperwork for my new car, I took a moment to step outside and say goodbye to my Toyota. I put my hands out to bless the car and thank it for beings so reliable and affordable. I blessed it to find a new owner who would enjoy it as much as I had. Then I released it with love. As I did so I felt those familiar tingles run through my body reminding me to pay attention to this moment and that I was connected to Spirit.
You may find it silly to perform such a ritual or take time to say goodbye to an inanimate object, but I assure you from my five years experience with Family Constellations, it is a meaningful practice to release things with love. Whether you are leaving a car, a job, a home, a city, or a relationship, if you walk away with any kind of resentment or attachment, you are looking backwards not forwards. How can you walk away peacefully and confidently not to mention see what’s ahead if you are still looking back at what was?
Yes, it can be difficult to let go of something that we love or to walk away from a place or home where we created wonderful memories. Letting go of a physical object or leaving a physical space doesn’t mean we have to discard the memories or lose the love. We can thank the object or place for being the catalyst for that love and those memories, and then trust the memories and love will go with us in our hearts. It is a trick of the ego to make us believe we have given up or lost something. In Truth, love is the only thing of value and it is eternal. It is not dependent on anything in the physical world because it lives in each of us. Therefore, we can find it wherever we go in every situation. And, as A Course in Miracles says clearly and simply in Section V of Chapter 15: There is no substitute for love.
Sometimes we let go of or walk away from something that feels like anything but love. However, no matter how challenging the experience or relationship, it taught us something. That something might simply be the clarity to know what we don’t want. We may not be grateful for the pain or frustration of that experience, but we can at least be grateful for the lessons learned. In most cases, there was something good about that situation or person or we wouldn’t have been there in the first place. Blessing the person, place, or thing with gratitude and releasing it with love frees us to turn around and walk away fully present to what’s in front of us.
This week I encourage you to search your heart for anything you might have said goodbye to in a less than loving way. The remnants of that painful ending may be preventing you from finding a new job, home, or partner that fills your heart with joy. If you find an unhappy ending hiding in the shadows, I recommend finding some quiet time to close your eyes and envision a different ending surrounded by love. I would be honored to guide you through this process with a Life Coaching session or a private Family Constellations session. Both can dissolve those unseen entanglements to the past and allow you to turn around and embrace the future with open arms and an open heart. Please look around my website for more information or send me an email with questions and to set up an appointment.
Until next time, may you embrace the power of a good goodbye…