During this time of Easter there is a lot of talk about sacrifice. I think it’s a good time to pull the plug on the idea that Love requires us to sacrifice something. If I truly love someone, why would I ask them to give up something that brings them joy? That doesn’t sound like a very loving request. Practically speaking, it wouldn’t be good for me either. If the person makes that sacrifice, it is very likely they will carry some kind of resentment toward me whether they are aware of it or not. That won’t foster a loving environment for our relationship to blossom. I know I would not be happy if someone asked me to give up something that brings me joy. Now if the something that brings me joy is ultimately harmful to my wellbeing, yes, it makes sense to give it up. But when it feels like I’m being asked to give up something for the sake of Love, you can be sure that resentment will be a factor in that equation.
I’ve been working on a Spiritual Algebra problem like this for about a year and a half now. If you’ve been reading my weekly stories for any length of time, you know that I love my time near Mother Ocean and that I live only three miles from the beach in Fort Lauderdale. That will change next month when I move to Houston, Texas to be with my partner. We’ve been maintaining a long distance relationship since October of 2016. Of the two of us, my work is much more portable. I do most of my Life Coaching and private Family Constellations sessions by phone or Skype, so I can work anywhere that has WiFi or cell phone service. I purposely set up my life like this so I could live in a warm climate near the ocean. Isn’t the Universe hilarious? The very thing I created made me the one easier to move!
I am so grateful to my partner for not putting pressure on me to give up something that I love. He is very aware how much being near Mother Ocean feeds my soul, and he has been nothing but supportive and understanding through this whole process. If I had made the move any sooner, it might have felt like I was sacrificing a lot in the name of Love. However, since neither one of us rushed the process, our relationship has flourished and more and more opportunities have revealed themselves in Houston. Now it does not feel like a sacrifice to leave Florida. Will I miss my spiritual family and that turquoise water? Of course! My intention is to come back and visit as often as I can. The point is, if I were leaving Florida while feeling like I was sacrificing something, I would be packing a lot more than just my clothes in my suitcase. I’d be packing some unconscious resentments too.
A Course in Miracles has some powerful words on this subject in Section X of Chapter 15:
Your confusion of sacrifice and love is so profound that you cannot conceive of love without sacrifice. And it is this that you must look upon; sacrifice is attack, not love. If you would accept but this one idea, your fear of love would vanish. Guilt cannot last when the idea of sacrifice has been removed. For if there is sacrifice, someone must pay and someone must get. And the only question that remains is how much is the price, and for getting what.
Do you feel like you are sacrificing your happiness and peace of mind so everyone else can be happy? This can be exhausting and ultimately not beneficial to anyone. I invite you to practice Spiritual Algebra and take the word “sacrifice” out of the equation. I would be honored to assist you with some tools and techniques that have worked for me during a single session or series of Life Coaching sessions. Family Constellations is another powerful technique to help you release the pattern of self-sacrifice so you can live the happy, healthy life you were meant to live. Please look around my website for more information about these opportunities or send me an email to schedule a session.
Until next time, may you practice Spiritual Algebra and remove sacrifice from all of your Love Equations!