What Makes You So Special?


What makes you special?  A colleague asked me that question last week as I prepared to make a short video about Family Constellation.  It was a difficult question for me to answer as a student of A Course in Miracles because the Course says no one is special because we are all special.  I believe that, yet I also understand that here in the world of form, we each have unique gifts and talents to share with the world.  No one does things exactly the way you do, even if they are in the same profession or participating in the same activity.

When I pondered this question later, it occurred to me that my presence creates a safe environment where people allow themselves to be vulnerable.  I didn’t face the same challenges as many male massage therapists when it came to female clients.  Many women who thought they would never let a man give them a massage ended up on my massage table.  It was very flattering.  At the time I thought it was because I grew up in a household of women, which gave me a more gentle energy.  That may be part of it.  Now I realize it probably has a lot to do with my studies of the Course, which can be summed up with these 3 statements from the introduction. “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists.  Herein lies the peace of God.”  Since I feel safe, people feel safe in my presence.  Somehow they know I’m not going to judge them or make them wrong no matter what they share.  Quite frequently people will tell me very personal things about their life soon after I meet them.

One memorable example of this happened last year while I was out and about in Wilton Manors with one of my best friends.  We met a couple visiting from California, and to say that they were a bit flirtatious is an understatement.  Things got very uncomfortable when the older gentleman started yelling at my friend for getting too close to his partner on the dance floor.  The angry partner confessed this happens a lot and he wanted to know why?  This lead to a deep conversation about how fear sometimes masquerades as love.  I never expected to be doing a coaching session with two strangers at a bar, but they were very grateful for the talk and I felt like that was the reason I was there that night.  I used to wonder why this kind of thing happened to me all the time, but now I consider it a blessing.  It certainly makes my job as a Life Coach and Family Constellation Facilitator much easier.

So I will ask again, “What makes you special?” Is there something about you that you used to think was a curse and now you see as a gift?  Don’t worry about being arrogant while answering this question.  We all need to own our gifts and talents because we were given them to be a force of Love on the planet.  When we own them and share them, we give others permission to do the same.  Can you imagine how amazing the world would be if EVERYONE was owning and sharing their gifts and talents instead of hiding them or feeling like theirs weren’t worth a bag of beans?  Please shine that special light of yours.  The world needs you!

Until next time, remember you are special so keep shining like only you can!

Getting in Harmony with Life


Are you in harmony with life? Sometimes we spend a lot of energy fighting against “what is.”  It doesn’t do much good because in that moment, it is!  The only thing we can change is our thoughts about the situation, and then what happens next can change dramatically.  Byron Katie, author of the book Loving What Is, spoke about this at Unity on the Bay on Saturday.  I highly recommend her book and The Work she does.

I had an amusing example of putting this into practice the next day on Super Bowl Sunday.  Anyone who knows me knows that sports aren’t really my thing (to say the least), but when my friend George invited me to go to a sports bar with him to watch “the game,” something in me said yes.  Honestly, since I don’t own a TV, that something was an opportunity to watch Katy Perry in the halftime show and spend some time with my friend.

I arrived a little before halftime, so the game was still happening.  Even though I was not invested in either team, I decided to yell, scream, and cheer along with the crowd whenever they did.  It amused me greatly because I really had no idea what was going on.  I just went with the energy.  Instead of judging or wondering why people were getting so excited about a game, I joined their excitement.  I suppose many of them would wonder why I would go to the American Airlines Arena when the Miami Heat weren’t playing.  Why would I be so excited about a Madonna concert or Oprah’s “The Life You Want Weekend?”  Different things excite different people, but joy is a divine energy no matter what form it takes. Sunday night unfolded in unexpected ways, and I ended up having one of the most fun evenings I’ve had in a long time.   I know it’s because I decided to be in harmony with life.

Sometimes that’s easier said than done.  Luckily there are tools to help us. One of the best tools I’ve come across is Family Constellation.  It gives participants the actual experience of restoring harmony among the different aspects of their lives. It’s simply amazing what happens in these workshops, but words fall short of describing it.  Come see for yourself this month and “Transform Your Relationship with Love.”

Wishing you Peace, Love, Joy, and Harmony in all of your relationships…