Do you know Judgy Judgerson, someone who is constantly criticizing or making fun of other people? We have all done it, myself included. Recently I was at a small gathering at a friend’s house where one of the guests was flipping through People Magazine. Each celebrity in the pages became the topic of conversation and everyone discussed what they did or didn’t like about that person. Most of it wasn’t nice and it made me uncomfortable. However, this is a very subtle trap. If I started to judge them for judging others, then I am no different. Interestingly enough, my daily lesson in A Course in Miracles the next day was all about judgment. In Lesson 151 the Course says, “No one can judge on partial evidence. That is not judgment. It is merely an opinion based on ignorance and doubt.” Later in that same lesson it says, “You have often been urged to refrain from judging, not because it is a right to be withheld from you. You cannot judge.”
What that says to me is we do not have all of the information necessary to make a judgment about someone else’s life. We don’t know what the future holds. We don’t know what someone has experienced in their life to influence their decisions. We don’t know what they are thinking. We couldn’t possibly know all of the factors involved from our limited perspective. We only have “partial evidence.” Haven’t we have all made mistakes or done things we aren’t proud of? Luckily most of us do not have them photographed and written about in People Magazine.
I will never forget an incident that happened when I was in high school. My best friend and I would drive around in his car a lot just to get out of the house. I needed to escape my mother’s drinking and he needed to escape his parents’ judging. One night there was a van stopped in the middle of a residential street blocking our way. I rolled my window down to yell something like, “Hellooooo! This is a street, not a parking lot!” The van still didn’t move so we eventually drove around it. That’s when we saw why the van was stopped. Someone was lying on the ground in front of it. I don’t know how that person ended up there, but whatever the case I felt despicable for yelling that out the window. I certainly didn’t have all the facts before making my judgment of the van driver. It was definitely a powerful lesson because I still remember it 30 years later!
One of my biggest challenges is not judging people who repeatedly choose to drink a lot of alcohol. I understand why this challenges me given my tumultuous upbringing in an alcoholic household, yet I have learned a lot since then. I couldn’t possibly know what is best for someone else’s soul journey. I do not know what pain they might be trying to numb. And just to be clear, it’s not like I have never had too much to drink. There have been plenty of times, some of them in the not too distant past. I do know all of us are looking for peace and joy. Getting drunk is one way to find them, albeit a temporary one.
But there is someone who does know what is best, someone who has all of the information necessary to make a judgment. A Course in MIracles calls this someone Holy Spirit or the Voice of Love. Other’s call it God, the Universe, their Higher Self or Inner Guide. Whatever you call it, I trust it. I trust that everyone is doing exactly what is best for him or her in that moment, regardless of my opinion. So the next time you are tempted to judge with partial evidence, maybe you will remember my van story and leave the judging to Judge Judy. She gets paid for it.
If there is a person or situation you are having a difficult time not judging, perhaps now is a good time to attend a Family Constellation or schedule a Life Coaching session. Both will help you see things from a higher perspective so you can find peace again. I love sharing what I have learned from A Course in Miracles because it really works! Please visit my website for more information and to register for a session or group.
Until next time, remember that the True Last Judgment is that you are Pure Spirit, innocent and whole. All is forgiven and released…