Have You Had an Oprah Ugly Cry Lately?

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It had been a long time since I did what Oprah calls the “ugly cry.” That’s the kind of crying that happens when a sudden flood of emotions overwhelms you, tears well up in your eyes, and you can’t stop them from pouring out no matter how hard you try. Often it’s accompanied by trembling or difficulty breathing. I guess Oprah calls it the ugly cry because in her line of work it happens on camera. No one wants to see puffy eyes and runny noses on television. I think it’s actually quite beautiful and healing to let those emotions flow, so when it happened to me last Sunday evening, I didn’t try to stop it. As far as I know, no one was filming me.

I’m not really sure what caused it. Some might say it was the energy of the full moon that night. Perhaps it had something to do with the many stories and memories of my mom that came up over the weekend. Admittedly, it was a very full weekend and I was tired. The wrong turn I made that added twenty minutes to my ride home that evening didn’t help. Whatever the cause, I knew it would be more beneficial to let my emotions out than try to keep them bottled in, so I let them flow. However, after thirty minutes of sobbing, I was ready to shift my energy back to peace. I have been studying A Course in Miracles long enough to know that when I’m feeling sad or bad, I’m listening to the voice of fear, or the ego. If I want to feel better, I need to listen to the voice of Love, which the Course calls Holy Spirit. So I used a prayer that I offer to my coaching clients all the time. 

“Holy Spirit, help me to see this differently.” 

It’s so simple and highly effective. If Holy Spirit sounds a little too “churchy” for you, feel free to replace those words with something else. You can say Angels, Divine Presence, Higher Self, God, Universe, or just Love. No matter what you call that Presence, the prayer works! And it worked for me that night. As soon as I said it I instantly stopped crying and began breathing normally again. That’s when an insight popped into my mind that I know I would not have thought of if I was still deep in the sadness. This was followed by the inspiration to open all the windows in my apartment to let in some fresh air. I then lit a cedar wood smudge stick and began waving it around my apartment to let the earthy, sweet smelling smoke carry any heavy energy out the windows. Rituals like this give our unconscious mind something to focus on while it receives the message that something is changing not only on the outside, but also on the inside. I woke up on Monday feeling lighter and ready to start a new week.

Have you been stuffing your feelings and dreading the thought that the ugly cry might happen at work or somewhere in public? Now is the time to try Family Constellations. It’s a safe place to finally let these emotions go and move forward feeling lighter and less burdened. If you’d like more tools like the prayer above, but ones that are custom designed for what’s going on in your life, I strongly recommend investing in a Life Coaching session or series of sessions. Once you have the right tools, you can feel better fast no matter what’s going on around you. I base all of my coaching programs on the strong, transformational principles of A Course in Miracles. My life has unfolded in miraculous ways since I started applying them. For more information about Family Constellations or Life Coaching, please visit my website or contact me directly with specific questions.

Until next time, don’t be afraid of the “ugly cry.” Let those emotions flow. It’s very unlikely Oprah will be there with a camera crew.

March to the Beat of Your Own Joyful Drum!

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I heard Rev. Michael Beckwith of the Agape Center in California once say that most of us think prayer is asking for things on the outside to change so we can stay the same. He offered that a more beneficial prayer might be to request help changing our thoughts on the inside so that we’re happy no matter what happens on the outside. I’m so grateful I remembered this during the drum circle I attended last Saturday. I had never been to this group before, and as soon as I arrived the energy felt a bit heavy and oppressive. The organizers seemed overly concerned with where people sat, what type of drum we had, and how we beat the drums. I respect the traditions of others, knowing they are rooted in a belief system that is meaningful to them, just as I hope others would respect mine. However, I also know the ego loves to make us think we have to “do it right” in order to be connected to Spirit. It wants us to believe we have to say the right words for our prayers to be heard, sit a certain way to meditate, or act a certain way to get into Heaven. Despite the lies of separation the ego tries to tell, I know, in Truth, we are always connected to Spirit. And, the times I feel most connected are when I am experiencing peace, love, and joy. I believe joy is an essential ingredient in spirituality that is often overlooked. On this topic, A Course in Miracles says:

Into eternity, where all is one, there crept a tiny, mad idea, at which the Son of God remembered not to laugh.

It looked like that tiny, mad idea had crept into this drum circle. I thought to myself, “Oh no. I’m stuck here for two hours with a group of people who forgot how to laugh!” The Cherokee elder who lead the circle made if very clear he expected each of us to stay for the duration because we were each an integral part of the ceremony. Since I had plans afterwards with friends who drove there separately, leaving early was not an option anyway. So I decided to make the best of it and pray for a miracle. Of course by miracle I mean a shift in my perception from fear to love. I asked Spirit for help to find something in this ceremony that I could resonate with, and maybe even enjoy. I love the sound of drums, so I decided to focus on that instead of the other participants or the songs. Since everything was sung in the Lakota language, the Cherokee elder shared a little bit about each song before it began. Every time he spoke I was amazed at how similar his teachings were to A Course in Miracles. My respect for him grew as he talked about oneness not being just a metaphor, but a reality. Later he spoke on the importance of forgiveness, especially forgiveness of self. I could certainly resonate with all of that!

As the drums beat together in harmony, so did our hearts. It occurred to me that all of us were there for the same reason, to help one another heal by remembering our oneness. With this awareness, I was able to relinquish my judgments about the lack of joy. I began to notice a few people smiling that I hadn’t noticed before, and the next song seemed a little more upbeat and happy than the rest. It was hard to keep my feet still. When it ended, the Cherokee elder confessed he didn’t sing the song he told us he was going to sing. Instead, he was guided to sing a song called “Spirit Dance.” He shared that this song is never one he plans to sing, it just comes when the Spirit World wants to dance and bring more joy to the ceremony. That was a pretty clear answer to my prayer. By the end of the ceremony, I was feeling great and grateful to have been there. My fear had shifted to love, and that was a miracle.

Would you like to experience a miracle? Is there something in your life that is causing you fear? Come to a Family Constellations workshop or schedule a private session in person or by phone. It is a great way to shift your thoughts on the inside so you can be happy no matter what happened or is happening on the outside. I base all of my Life Coaching programs on the strong principles of A Course in Miracles. I know they can transform your life because that’s what happened when I applied them to mine. Call me to schedule a free twenty minute consultation or visit my website for more details on Life Coaching packages and upcoming Family Constellations workshops. You can feel better fast with a little help and the right tools.

Until next time, keep marching to the beat of your own joyful drum (a.k.a. your heart!)

Stop it!

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Sometimes the way the tapestry of life is woven together truly astounds me. Last week I was reminded of just how connected and supported we are. After talking with a trusted friend and listening to my own internal guidance, I decided that I would no longer keep a spreadsheet of my expenses. For the past 2 or 3 years I have kept track of every dollar going out. (I guess that’s what happens when you date an accountant for a few years.) I’m grateful that I did this because now I have a very clear idea of how I am allocating my funds. This is very useful information. However, to continue this practice into 2016 seems to demonstrate a lack of trust in an abundant Universe. The more I practice the principles of A Course in Miracles, the more I remember that I am always connected to Source, which is infinite by definition. I have seen over and over again that all of my needs will be met one way or another because, in Truth, I cannot be separate from this Source. The Course gives very practical advice when it says:

Give, therefore, of your abundance, and teach your brothers theirs. Do not share their illusions of scarcity, or you will perceive yourself as lacking.

As I have mentioned before, I love to listen to “Magical Things” with Radleigh Valentine on Thursdays at 5 PM EST on Hay House Radio. Imagine the smile on my face when a woman brought up this exact same question on his show last Thursday. She shared that her money situation has been shaky for a while, and wanted Radleigh to confirm some unexpected guidance that she received while meditating. When she asked her angels if she should continue using a spreadsheet to keep track of her expenses, they simply told her to “Stop it!” That’s when Radleigh began to giggle and my smile got even wider. You see, just the day before, Radleigh and I had been communicating via FaceBook, and I shared one of my favorite videos with him. In this video, Bob Newhart plays the familiar role of psychologist, however the only thing he tells his client during the entire comedy skit is, “Stop it!” 

Of course, when Radleigh was done reading her question, he had to explain why he was giggling so much. He used this as a wonderful teaching device to show that sometimes answers are given before we ask the questions. In this case, the confirmation that she should STOP IT was given to him the day before. What Radleigh didn’t know was that this message was also confirmation for me! It never ceases to amaze me how Spirit works to weave everything together. I saw this video for the first time about two years ago when I was facilitating A Course in Miracles study group. One of the participants suggested we watch it, and I’m so grateful she did! It was a miracle moment that came full circle two years later. I am also incredibly grateful to Radleigh for mentioning my name on the air as a fellow spiritual teacher in Florida. Life is indeed magical.

If your life is feeling less than magical, I invite you to come experience the magic of a Family Constellations workshop. Amazing synchronicities and connections happen all the time. It is a unique opportunity to see how much more alike we are than different, while opening our hearts to new levels of understanding. When we understand, we have compassion, and that’s when things in our lives begin to change. Participants arrive as strangers and leave as family. Join us and see for yourself.

Life Coaching is another way to create magic in your life. I love seeing miracles happen when my clients shift from a fearful way of looking at something to a loving way. I share practical tools from A Course in Miracles and other sources that have helped me do the same thing. Please visit my website for more information about Life Coaching programs and to see the dates for upcoming Family Constellations.

Until next time, if you are doing something that is taking away your peace… STOP IT!

This is Unacceptable!

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“This is unacceptable.” I caught myself saying these very words out loud on Monday after my morning meditation. I was very frustrated because fluid still clogged my left ear and the only thing I could concentrate on was my eardrum throbbing in time with my heartbeat. There was no pain, but it was so annoying!  It had now been three weeks since I first started feeling symptoms of a cold, so I decided that this was unacceptable. As soon as I heard my words I had to laugh. How many times have I shared with my coaching clients that the first step in making change and achieving peace is acceptance? And there I was declaring something unacceptable.

Accepting something is not a sign of weakness or even approval. It is merely surrendering to what is. I can argue all I like with what is, but it still is, regardless of my opinion. It would be like going to the beach, putting my hand up, and commanding the ocean waves to stop. I can try it, but the waves will continue to roll in whether I want them to or not. Getting angry at the waves won’t change anything. Telling the people around me how terrible those waves are for not stopping won’t change anything. The only thing I can change is how I respond to the situation. Once I accept that the waves are going to continue to roll in, I can choose to step back so they don’t reach me, or I can enter the water and jump over them or dive through them. It’s up to me what I do next. But whatever I do, my decision will come from a peaceful place because I’ve stopped railing against what is. If I’m upset and stuck in wishing things were different, it’s almost impossible to make a wise decision on how to proceed.

So in that moment, I decided that my clogged ear was acceptable because it was. Over the next few days it became less and less clogged. I still feel my eardrum pulsing in time with my heartbeat once in a while (even as I type this), but it has become less and less often. I trust one day soon it will be completely clear and I will forget all about it. In the meantime, I could ask more empowering questions like, what is this teaching me? What don’t I want to hear? How can I shift back to love?

Is there something in your life that you have declared unacceptable? What would it feel like to stop fighting it for a moment and simply accept that it is happening? Then, from that newfound place of peace, ask for guidance on how to proceed. It’s simple, but not always easy. If you could use some assistance, now is a great time to sign up for Life Coaching or attend a Family Constellations workshop. Both will help bring you to a place of acceptance and greater understanding. That naturally leads to compassion for yourself and others. Please visit my website for more information or contact me directly if you have specific questions. I love sharing what has worked for me!

Until next time, may you accept whatever is happening and know the deeper truth that all is well.