It had been a long time since I did what Oprah calls the “ugly cry.” That’s the kind of crying that happens when a sudden flood of emotions overwhelms you, tears well up in your eyes, and you can’t stop them from pouring out no matter how hard you try. Often it’s accompanied by trembling or difficulty breathing. I guess Oprah calls it the ugly cry because in her line of work it happens on camera. No one wants to see puffy eyes and runny noses on television. I think it’s actually quite beautiful and healing to let those emotions flow, so when it happened to me last Sunday evening, I didn’t try to stop it. As far as I know, no one was filming me.

I’m not really sure what caused it. Some might say it was the energy of the full moon that night. Perhaps it had something to do with the many stories and memories of my mom that came up over the weekend. Admittedly, it was a very full weekend and I was tired. The wrong turn I made that added twenty minutes to my ride home that evening didn’t help. Whatever the cause, I knew it would be more beneficial to let my emotions out than try to keep them bottled in, so I let them flow. However, after thirty minutes of sobbing, I was ready to shift my energy back to peace. I have been studying A Course in Miracles long enough to know that when I’m feeling sad or bad, I’m listening to the voice of fear, or the ego. If I want to feel better, I need to listen to the voice of Love, which the Course calls Holy Spirit. So I used a prayer that I offer to my coaching clients all the time. 

“Holy Spirit, help me to see this differently.” 

It’s so simple and highly effective. If Holy Spirit sounds a little too “churchy” for you, feel free to replace those words with something else. You can say Angels, Divine Presence, Higher Self, God, Universe, or just Love. No matter what you call that Presence, the prayer works! And it worked for me that night. As soon as I said it I instantly stopped crying and began breathing normally again. That’s when an insight popped into my mind that I know I would not have thought of if I was still deep in the sadness. This was followed by the inspiration to open all the windows in my apartment to let in some fresh air. I then lit a cedar wood smudge stick and began waving it around my apartment to let the earthy, sweet smelling smoke carry any heavy energy out the windows. Rituals like this give our unconscious mind something to focus on while it receives the message that something is changing not only on the outside, but also on the inside. I woke up on Monday feeling lighter and ready to start a new week.

Have you been stuffing your feelings and dreading the thought that the ugly cry might happen at work or somewhere in public? Now is the time to try Family Constellations. It’s a safe place to finally let these emotions go and move forward feeling lighter and less burdened. If you’d like more tools like the prayer above, but ones that are custom designed for what’s going on in your life, I strongly recommend investing in a Life Coaching session or series of sessions. Once you have the right tools, you can feel better fast no matter what’s going on around you. I base all of my coaching programs on the strong, transformational principles of A Course in Miracles. My life has unfolded in miraculous ways since I started applying them. For more information about Family Constellations or Life Coaching, please visit my website or contact me directly with specific questions.

Until next time, don’t be afraid of the “ugly cry.” Let those emotions flow. It’s very unlikely Oprah will be there with a camera crew.

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