A Match Made in Heaven

Last week I had the honor and joy of witnessing my dear friend Melinda get married. The funny thing is, she already had a husband. No, Melinda isn’t a polygamist. The marriage I witnessed was actually the coming together of the right minister and the right church. I met Rev. Melinda Wood Allen last June in San Antonio, Texas at the Unity Worldwide Ministries Conference. We hit it off immediately. Not only did I learn that she is an amazing singer/songwriter, but at the time she was looking for the right spiritual community to continue her calling as a minister.

I saw her again earlier this year at the emPower Posi Music Awards in Tampa, Florida. Her song “Ancestors” was nominated for an award. We had a wonderful conversation in the hotel lobby after the awards show. We laughed and caught up with each other’s lives until almost 1 in the morning. That’s when she shared this profound teaching and prayer with me. Having had a few disappointments over the past few months in her “church search,” she was doing her best to stay centered and peaceful as she waited for an answer from a center where she had recently spoken. Instead of praying that she would get the job, she was simply holding the vision that this center would find the perfect minister and that she would find the perfect church. What a beautiful prayer of surrender and trust. How often do we pray for a specific outcome when, from our limited perspective, how could we possibly know what is the highest good for all?

That prayer really stuck with me. In fact, I shared it with one of my Life Coaching clients the very next day. Instead of praying for God to fix his relationship, I offered that we hold the vision together that both he and his partner find the perfect match. If it’s each other, great. If it’s not, everyone still wins! By the way, this visioning prayer will also work for business opportunities, jobs, and places to live. Instead of trying to figure out what’s best or impose our will, why not pray for the perfect match? Then we can relax and let the Universe orchestrate all the details while we do only the action steps that are ours to do. If it’s a romantic or business partner that you’re looking for, I offer these powerful and comforting words from A Course in Miracles:

There are no accidents in salvation. Those who are to meet will meet, because together they have the potential for a holy relationship. They are ready for each other.

Needless to say, Melinda got the job. Everyone who spoke at the ceremony last Friday said the same thing. It literally was “a match made in Heaven.” Melinda is the perfect, heart-centered minister for the Cathedral of Light in Dallas and the Cathedral of Light is the perfect, heart-centered spiritual community for Melinda. I felt the same immediate connection with the church that I felt with Melinda. As soon as I arrived at the church I noticed the words “Teaching Only Love” written on the outside wall. That felt like a nod to a famous quote from A Course in Miracles: “Teach only love for that is what you are.” It turns out the founding minister of the Cathedral of Light is a long-time student of the Course. I later found out from a congregant that she also loves angels, which is evident by the many paintings and sculptures of angels throughout the building.

Of course, I sprinkled some rose quartz crystals on either side of the entrance to the church to bless everyone who entered with the energy of unconditional love and compassion. Imagine my surprise when I walked into the sanctuary for the first time and saw a row of pink stained glass windows on either side. The sanctuary was bathed in soft pink light, just like I had envisioned when I planted those little pink stones. It was absolutely beautiful and full of love, just like the ceremony and all the wonderful people I met that evening. Everything just felt right. I could not be happier for my friend Melinda or for the Cathedral of Light. In my humble opinion, it is both a match made in Heaven and a holy relationship.

Are you looking for a partner, a career change, or a new place to live? I would be honored to hold the vision of a match made in Heaven and give you tools to help you become a match for what you desire. Please look around my website to learn about the different Life Coaching packages available to assist you. You might also try a Family Constellations session to uncover any hidden blocks that prevent you from the happy, healthy, prosperous life you were meant to live. Simply send me an email with any questions you may have or to schedule an appointment.

Until next time, together let’s hold the highest vision for the world that we all become a match made in Heaven.

I Can See Clearly Now

Sometimes my life lessons are so obvious I know they will end up in one of my weekly blogs while they are happening. Just the other day I experienced such a lesson. I felt an eyelash or some small object in my left eye while doing stomach crunches. Without thinking, I wiped my eye with the back of my hand and immediately felt my contact lens dislodge and move under my eyelid. Having worn contact lenses since tenth grade, this was nothing new. Past experience told me I just needed to look in a mirror and lift my eyelid to locate the lens and then remove it. It wasn’t terribly uncomfortable so I decided it could wait until after my workout.

Little did I know during that time that tiny piece of plastic continued to travel somewhere in my eye contact lenses were never meant to go. When I looked for it, it was nowhere to be found. Since my whole eye was now red and irritated, I couldn’t feel where it was either. I used the flashlight on my phone to search my eyeball but with no luck. By now my discomfort was growing and I was getting frustrated. I splashed water in my eye thinking it would loosen things up or flush the lens out. That only made it feel worse. The more I searched for the lens, the more irritated my eye became. I decided to give up the search, remove my right lens, and take a shower. Maybe the running water would loosen it for me. Unfortunately, that didn’t work either.

Now I was beginning to panic. It had been in there over an hour. I was nowhere near my trusted eye doctor in Fort Lauderdale and a trip to the emergency room was the last thing I wanted to do. In a moment of inspiration, I googled “contact lens stuck in eye” for some internet wisdom. I followed the suggestions given to no avail. Every tactic I tried only made my situation worse. That lens either found a really good hiding spot or it had already been flushed out. My eye was so angry at this point I couldn’t tell.

That’s when I realized it was time to do nothing and let my eye rest. A dear and longtime friend had asked if I was available for a catch-up phone call that day. I knew talking with her would make me feel better and distract me from my eye situation so I called her. She asked how I was doing and I told her about my eye. Apparently this had happened to her many years ago, but the advice she offered was the same advice I found online. Not wanting to dwell on it any longer, I asked her what was going on with her and we continued our conversation for over an hour. All the while I did my best to ignore the discomfort in my left eye and be present for our conversation.

Then, as our conversation shifted to the topic of deep clarity, I had the urge to go look at my eye in the mirror. I pulled down my lower lid and there was my contact lens folded in half about to drop out of my eye. What a relief and what timing! Of course it revealed itself while we were talking about having deep clarity. The metaphor was not lost on either of us, nor was the life lesson. When we have a problem we usually try everything imaginable to relieve the discomfort as soon as possible. Sometimes the more we try to force a solution, the worse it gets. It is often more beneficial to stop thinking about the problem and focus instead on something that brings us joy or lifts us up. Even though the problem is still there and it may feel uncomfortable, stepping back from it may be exactly what is needed for the solution to reveal itself.

I’m happy to share this little lesson with you so there is no need for you to put yourself through that unpleasantness. It would be my great honor to share more life lessons and tools to help you navigate any situation that is causing you pain. To learn more about Life Coaching or Family Constellations sessions, please look around my website. You can also ask questions or schedule an appointment by sending me an email.

Until next time, if you find yourself caught in a situation that seems to have no solution, I invite you to step back and give it some space. The solution just might reveal itself once you stop trying so hard.

Message from Mom

Someone asked if I was going to write about my mother this week since Sunday is Mother’s Day. I wasn’t planning on it, but the question reminded me of an interesting conversation my mother and I had not long before she made her transition. My mother spent the last six years of her life with me in Florida. Although they were some of the most challenging years, they also provided some of the richest moments we had together.

One day we got on the subject of reincarnation. I think I was reading a book that talked about it. The author believed we stay in between lifetimes for a year, and then on the day after the anniversary of our death, we are born into another body. I told her I didn’t know if I believed that part, but I did believe we reincarnate. She told me she wasn’t sure about any of it, but she would let me know. I laughed and asked her how she was going to let me know. With that trademark twinkle in her eye, she quickly replied, “I’ll send you an email.”

Her comment was funny for many reasons, but mostly because my mother never sent an email in her life. She had no interest in owning a computer or learning how to communicate electronically. I think that’s why her comment stuck with me even after she laid her body aside in April of 2011.

Exactly one year later my life looked very different. I had started a new chapter and was living at a spiritual retreat center in Ojai, CA. The wonderful people that ran the center offered to build a bonfire that night to help me celebrate my mom. As we gathered around the dancing orange and yellow flames, I shared stories about her and thanked her for all the life lesson she taught me. I brought an extra copy of the handout we gave everyone at her memorial service to burn in the sacred fire. My mother loved a good campfire (and a good smoke), so it felt like the perfect way to honor her and symbolically release her on another level.

The next day I couldn’t believe my eyes when I opened my email. Somehow I had gotten on a senior citizen mailing list (no comments please!) and received an advertisement for one of those scooters that assists people with mobility issues. My mother loved the little scooter that we got for her when she moved to Florida. She rode that thing everywhere. What gave me the “tinglies” and the idea that this might be a confirmation email from my mom was the image in the ad. It was a woman on a scooter with her hands outstretched in the air like a “V” for victory celebrating her freedom. This was the very same pose my mother struck in one of the last photos I took of her.

Coincidence? Maybe. I don’t know how I got on that mailing list or if that really was a message from my mom. I don’t know for sure that we reincarnate. However, I will say the same thing about that email that A Course in Miracles says about reincarnation in Question 24 in the Manual for Teachers:

Our only question should be, “Is the concept helpful?” And that depends, of course, on what it is used for. If it is used to strengthen the recognition of the eternal nature of life, it is helpful indeed.

I would be deeply honored to help you get some answers and find peace by sharing the principles of A Course in Miracles, Family Constellations, and other New Thought Teachings. We can work together in person, by phone, or via Skype. Please look around my website to learn more about my Life Coaching and Family Constellations sessions. To schedule an appointment, simply send me an email.

Until next time, keep your eyes, ears, and heart open. You never know where or how the next message may appear.

Root Root Root for Your Own Team

I experienced my first baseball game at Minute Maid Park in Houston last week. Unlike the rest of my family, sports are not a big interest of mine, but I still had a lot of fun. The last time I went to a baseball game was in 1991 at Yankee Stadium with my family. I remember that was a lot of fun, too. However, since that was 27 years ago and I don’t own any sports jerseys, I wasn’t really sure what to wear to a baseball game. I decided on my purple Cozumel shirt that I got earlier this year while on the Science of Mind Magazine Cruise. Not only is purple one of my favorite colors, the word “Cozumel” is written in baseball style font. That seemed appropriate, right?

Well, I soon learned that people take their home team very seriously here in Houston, especially when that team won the World Series last year. There were very few people at the stadium not wearing orange, navy blue, or some combination of the two. Needless to say, I didn’t really blend in with the crowd in my purple Cozumel shirt. This actually came in handy while wading through throngs of orange-clad Astros fans as we searched for the stairs to get to our seats on the second level. My friends had no problem spotting me to make sure I was still with them!

When we finally found our seats, we snapped a quick photo and posted it on Facebook. Who knew my Cozumel shirt would inspire so many comments? It was actually quite funny to see what people wrote about me “rooting” for Cozumel, even though, to my knowledge, that city does not have a baseball team. My shirt became the joke of the evening as I kept yelling “Go Cozumel!” and later “Save Cozumel!” when the third or fourth foul ball came rocketing towards our section threatening to injure me. Who says baseball isn’t a dangerous sport?

That night I learned something else about Astros fans. During the seventh inning stretch it is customary to “root root root for the home team” by singing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” and then “Deep in the Heart of Texas.” When that song came on I was suddenly transported back to Frontierland at Disney World and began doing the choreography for the Frontierland Hoedown. It happens sometimes. Apparently my purple shirt boot scootin’ caught the attention of a camera operator and our group ended up on the Jumbotron for a brief moment. Had I been wearing an orange or navy shirt like everyone else we might not have been noticed.

As you can probably tell, the jokes, comments, and funny looks did not bother me one bit. In fact, it truly added to the fun of the evening. My fear is that I am about to be barraged with orange Astros clothing. To the kind, generous, and enthusiastic friends who threatened—I mean offered to buy me appropriate baseball attire, I say I truly appreciate the thought, but orange really isn’t my color. I know this to be true having spent four years at Syracuse University!

All joking aside, this experience was a great demonstration that being yourself, marching to the beat of your own drum, and rooting for your own team (even if they aren’t playing) can create unexpected joyful moments and blessings. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes often attributed to Oscar Wilde, but upon further research, I discovered its origin is actually unknown. Not that it matters who who said it first, it’s still great advice:

Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.

This is sometimes easier said than done, especially if you are one who has the “disease to please” like I do. We can become so preoccupied with what everyone else thinks we should do that we lose touch with what we truly want to do. It would be my great honor to help you get back in touch with your heart’s truest desires with Life Coaching or a Family Constellations session. Visit the testimonials page on my website to read what others who have worked with me are saying and then send me an email to book a session or series of sessions.

Until next time, I invite you to take one small step in being yourself this week. Before you answer “yes” or “no” to the next invitation you receive, take a moment to check in to see how you really feel. Are you saying “yes” because you don’t want to disappoint someone or because you really want to be there? If it’s the former, simply saying “no thank you” in a kind way can be a wonderful way to start being yourself.