If you’re reading this then you probably have experienced the miraculous process known as Family Constellations. For those who haven’t, Family Constellations is a powerful healing tool that reveals hidden dynamics in families and other groups using representatives to stand in for key people and elements in the system. I’ve been doing this work for almost 7 years and I’m still in awe of what happens every single time. The constellation we set up around the coronavirus while I was in Virginia last weekend was especially awe inspiring. If there was any doubt that something beyond what can be seen or defined is guiding constellation participants to move where they move and say what they say, this one absolutely put that doubt to rest.
We had a small, intimate group of 7 people on Saturday. I’m incredibly grateful that these courageous participants were willing to explore the unprecedented situation occurring on planet earth right now. Drawing on my intuition and ideas that emerged in conversations prior to the workshop, I secretly assigned each of them a role. I wrote them down on 7 small pieces of paper, folded them up, and gave one to each person. Their only instructions were to not look at what was written on it, hold it to their heart for a moment, then stand up and find their place in the room wherever they felt guided.
One of the participants recently had knee surgery and requested a role that did not require her to move around or stand a lot. I gave her the role of Health Care System. As I handed her the paper, I realized the significance of assigning the role to someone who was temporarily compromised after a recent experience with the very thing she was representing. The person representing Fear & Isolation stood up and immediately reported that she felt like she was “in the air” as if she were floating. Although she was not representing the coronavirus, her words could not have been more true. Fear is definitely in the air these days!
The representative for Health & Vitality saw herself seated with her feet up next to a blazing fire in a fireplace inside a cozy cabin. She felt really good and wasn’t all that concerned with the other representatives. Once the representative for the Coronavirus stood up, Fear & Isolation immediately moved towards him and they began flowing together as a unit. They liked each other very much, and settled in a spot near the Health Care System. Remember, none of the participants knew what they were representing so it was both surprising and not surprising when these two gravitated towards each other so quickly.
As soon as the representative for Compassionate Leadership stood up she felt like she wanted to “get on top of” Fear & Isolation. She was not happy with her and kept saying she wanted to push her down. Eventually, Compassionate Leadership made her way over to the dancing duo, stood up on a chair, and hissed at them. Both the Coronavirus and Fear & Isolation were startled and quickly moved to the other side of the room. It is also interesting to note that Health Care System said she was not happy when Compassionate Leadership stood on the chair. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions there.
Meanwhile, the representative for Humanity kept running around the house like a scared rabbit. She couldn’t stand still because nowhere felt safe. I couldn’t believe my eyes when Humanity finally stopped behind Compassionate Leadership once it stood on the chair and scared the Coronavirus and Fear & Isolation away. Humanity said she still wanted to run but reported she felt better behind the person standing on the chair.
The last piece of the puzzle came together when the representative for Oneness & Connection remained where she was sitting and reported that she felt like a turtle. She carried her shell on her back so she was at home everywhere. Like Health & Vitality, she was unaffected by the drama unfolding among the other representatives. However, as the constellation progressed, Health & Vitality said she sensed a storm coming and she wanted to fortify all the windows in her cabin. There was no sense of fear in her. She felt strong and safe but simply wanted to prepare.
Finally, when I asked if any of the representatives wanted to move, the only one who took me up on the offer was Oneness & Connection. She placed her chair in the center of the room and sat calmly between the two opposing teams. Humanity and Compassionate Leadership were behind her and the Coronavirus and Fear & Isolation were in front of her. It felt like the perfect resolution. Oneness & Connection are indeed at the center of it all.
One by one, I had each of the 7 representatives read what was written on their paper so we could reflect on what just occurred. Everyone was amazed when they found out who they were. The constellation clearly showed that Compassionate Leadership is needed now more than ever to calm Humanity. That’s all of us, not just our political leaders. We must all become compassionate leaders by making choices from love. We can comply with social distancing guidelines not out of fear of getting sick, but out of love for those who are most susceptible to the virus. We demonstrate compassion by only buying what we need at the grocery store so others can get what they need too. By focusing on Health & Vitality we can stay peaceful. To prepare for the storm, fortify the windows by making healthy choices that boost your immune system. When we stay grounded in the vibration of love, miracles happen!
The central role of Oneness & Connection was a powerful confirmation of what many people have been saying the past few weeks. If this virus has shown us anything, it’s how connected we are. The illusion of separation is fading. There is no “other.” This isn’t happening to other people on the other side of the globe. It’s affecting all of us. As we’ve seen during other crises, people are reaching out to help one another. Strangers are buying groceries for elderly people who are afraid to go into stores. People are buying gift certificates from their favorite local small businesses to keep them afloat while they remain closed. Countries are sending medical supplies to countries that need them. With this kind of altruism happening in so many ways on so many levels, it’s easy to see that we are hardwired for cooperation, not competition. We are all in this together. We are One Human Family. Oneness & Connection is the antidote to Fear & Isolation, even if we have to connect via technology or from six feet away!
To close the constellation, all of us spoke these words three times to the Coronavirus and to Fear & Isolation. “Thank you for showing us these truths so clearly. Thank you for teaching us these lessons. We see how connected we are. Your services are no longer needed. We surround you with grace and we release you with love.” Both representatives reported feeling peace and a lightness of being that allowed them to rise up and out of their roles. Everyone felt the energy in the room shift. Whether you believe there is significance in what happened or not, I trust this story will give you food for thought, perhaps some comfort, and inspiration to be a compassionate leader during these times of uncertainty.
Until next time, may you remember that we are always connected through love despite the appearance of Fear & Isolation.
Alone we are all lowly, but together we shine with brightness so intense that none of us alone can even think of it.
A Course in Miracles – T-13.X.14:2