Last Sunday was the 9th anniversary of my mother’s passing. It’s not a sad day for me. Of course, I miss her, but I wouldn’t want her to be back in the body that was failing her or to be troubled by the painful thoughts that haunted her for so much of her life. She is free now. She is at peace. And based on the dream I had about her Sunday morning, apparently she’s still doing some spring cleaning wherever she is now.
In my dream, I was back in the house where I grew up and my mother was cleaning the carpets and floors with a steam cleaner. As you might imagine with a mother who was an active alcoholic, most of the time our house was not very clean. In fact, in later years it was quite the opposite which I’m certain is why I’m a bit of a neat freak now. I remember being glad and a little self-righteous when I saw my mother using the steam cleaner in my dream. I thought, “Good! You should be cleaning!”
Then it occurred to me that maybe I should be helping her with the cleaning. I did, and it felt good. Then I woke up. That was the whole dream. It was short and sweet, but I think I got the message. It wasn’t one person’s job to clean up the mess in our relationship. I did and said some things I’m not proud of. We both had a part to play in it, so we both had some cleaning to do. The timing of that dream was not lost on me.
I am grateful that my mother and I got to a place of unconditional love before she died. With forgiveness and understanding, we cleaned up a lot of the mess caused by years of addiction and its underlying pain. I came to understand that everything that happened (the good, the bad, and the ugly) made me the person I am today and helped me find a spiritual path. I knew this in my head, but it hadn’t yet dropped into my heart. One of the things that helped this information drop into my heart was the music from Graceful Passages – A Companion for Living and Dying.
A dear friend gifted me this beautiful CD set a few months before my mother died, and what a gift it was. One afternoon, I asked the hospice nurse to give us some privacy so I could listen to the CD with my mom. Once I got my mother settled in her bed, she fell asleep quickly. I decided to play the CD anyway. I moved a chair close to her bedside and held her hand while the first track, “Letting Yourself Be Loved” began. Soon, a powerful blend of spoken word and soothing music flowed from the speakers. Grace filled the room. At first, only a few tears rolled down my cheeks, but soon I was sobbing. Something in me shifted.
My heart opened so wide it knew everything that happened between my mother and me was perfect and she had been the perfect mother for me. Any lingering anger and resentment melted away. While she lay there silently, I told her this. Although she wasn’t conscious, I choose to believe her soul heard me and every note and word from Graceful Passages. I will be forever grateful to my friend and the creators of the CD for the gift of that profound and healing experience. I have included a link to the video here. May it be as profound and healing for you and your loved ones.
My dream was a great reminder that it’s never too late to do a little energetic spring cleaning, even if our loved ones are no longer in physical form. Family Constellations is a powerful healing tool that reveals and heals the hidden entanglements and family loyalties that prevent you from living a happy, healthy, and prosperous life. If you feel like there may be some energetic spring cleaning to do in your family, visit my website to learn more about one-on-one Family Constellations sessions and group Family Constellations Workshops. Both can be done online with Skype or Zoom.
If you’d like more miracles in your life, I am hosting not one but two weekly online A Course in Miracles study groups. One meets on Monday evenings at 7:30 PM Central and the other meets on Friday afternoons at 5 PM Central. This is a safe, supportive, and fun space to be uplifted and renewed as we discuss the life-changing principles found in the Course. All are welcome. During these challenging times, I am also offering 45-minute Life Coaching calls on a donation basis to anyone in need of one-on-one support. Please visit my website or send me an email for more information and to schedule a session.
Until next time, please remember to let yourself be loved!
Understanding is appreciation, because what you understand you can identify with, and by making it part of you, you have accepted it with love.
A Course in Miracles ~ T-7.V.9.4