What is Your Little One Asking For?

A few weeks ago, road construction forced me to take a different route to the park for my morning walk. It turned out to be a wonderful detour for two reasons. One, it showed me how to avoid an area of highway that has no lane for merging traffic. That stretch always felt like an accident waiting to happen. Two, a road on the new route has a significant dip that is super fun to drive over. At just the right speed, it gives me a little taste of roller coaster stomach without actually leaving the ground. With this new route, I exchanged two seconds of daily stress for two seconds of daily joy!

Why am I sharing this? I think it’s important to remember we all have a younger version of ourselves living inside us. Along with protection and safety, this “inner child” craves joy, fun, and more playtime. We can get so caught up in the circumstances, events, and busyness of our lives that we forget about this little one. That’s when we start feeling depleted, sad, and overwhelmed. It’s such a silly thing, but the little boy in me absolutely loves driving over that dip in the road. I giggle like a 5-year old every single time.

There have been a lot of serious and sad events happening over the past few months and I’m not trying to make light of them. What I am suggesting is the importance of allowing ourselves moments of joy in addition to the moments of sadness. When we honor and take care of the needs of our inner child, we can become fully integrated adults and do what’s ours to do much more happily and efficiently.

This week I encourage you to spend some time with your inner child. Ask what it needs. If it’s a little joy, do something fun even if it seems silly to your adult self. If it wants some quiet time alone in nature, get outdoors for an hour. Keep in mind, your adult self is still in charge, so you can offer a substitution if the inner child’s request is not possible. If your inner child wants to ride a Ferris wheel, perhaps you could drive to a scenic overlook and gaze out over the city lights at night. If you can’t get outdoors, watch a nature video on YouTube. Let that little one know you are listening. Whatever you do, your inner child will thank you and so will the people around you!

If you could use some assistance getting in touch with the requests of your inner child, I would be honored to help you with a series of Life Coaching sessions or a private Family Constellations session. Both can be done using a telephone, tablet, or computer. For more information or to schedule a session, send me an email or look around my website. 

Until next time, wishing you and your little one many magical and joyful moments!

The ego is afraid of spirit’s joy, because once you have experienced it you will withdraw all protection from the ego…

A Course in Miracles ~ T-4.I.10

Meet Your Ancestors and Descendants

This past weekend I attended a 3-Day Online Family Constellations Intensive. It was a virtual gathering of Constellations Facilitators from all over the globe who, like me, wanted to learn new skills and techniques for their practice. One of my first Constellations Teachers, Suzi Tucker, was one of the main presenters, which is why I registered for the event. Suzi is a master wordsmith as well as a skilled Constellations Facilitator. Her expanded yet simple definition of Ancestors and Descendants was one of my biggest takeaways from the weekend.

Suzi defined an Ancestor as anyone who stands behind the people who are standing behind us. Yes, this means our grandparents, great grandparents, and so on, but this definition does not limit an Ancestor to those who pass down their DNA. It expands the definition to include teachers, mentors, therapists, counselors, and coaches. Truly anyone who has touched our lives in some significant way is an Ancestor. 

This is not a new concept to me, but it was so nice to hear it expressed so clearly. Every year at the Big Sky Retreat we speak about all those who had a part in creating the first retreat 45 years ago. We honor the original President, Al Heard, who had an idea to create an event where people from different spiritual paths come together, share ideas, and meditate in a beautiful setting in nature. He and the other original Board Members are the Big Sky Retreat’s Ancestors. I am so grateful to all of them because this annual event has blessed my life in more ways than I can count. 

By this definition, Helen Schucman, William Thetford, Ken Wapnick, and all those responsible for ushering  A Course in Miracles into the world are my Ancestors. This is also true of every ACIM Teacher and Facilitator who has helped me understand and apply these life-changing teachings. I have tremendous respect and gratitude for all of my spiritual teachers along the way: Unity and Science of Mind Ministers, my rose quartz family, and the staff at Educating Hands School of Massage in Miami. I also honor the many Constellations Mentors that shaped my work, including the Father of Family Constellations, Bert Hellinger. Thank you, Ancestors!

Suzi also shared a beautiful definition of Descendants. They are anyone who’s lives we touch that touch the lives of others. If you have children and grandchildren, of course, they are your descendants, but this also includes any child you have parented regardless of blood relation. There are so many lives we touch every day whether we are in a formal mentoring or teaching role or just by the way we show up for them. By this definition, my clients are my Descendants. It is extremely gratifying when one sends me a photo of themself holding their first copy of A Course in Miracles. A few members of the circles I have facilitated have gone on to facilitate their own groups. Some who have attended Constellations Training with me have begun to use the concepts and philosophy in their healing work. It evokes such joy in me to see these teachings being passed down and spreading out into the world.

One of the exercises we did during the weekend intensive gave me an even deeper appreciation of this. We were put into groups of 3 and instructed to take turns representing ourselves while picking one person to represent an Ancestor and the other to represent a Descendant. I’ll never forget the feeling of immense gratitude that welled up in me while representing the Descendant as I looked at my teacher and my teacher’s teacher. I wondered how I could ever repay them for such a life-changing gift. And then it dawned on me. The best way to repay them was by sharing what I learned with others, thus allowing the gift to keep on giving. It gave me renewed inspiration to continue sharing the gifts I’ve been given.

Along those lines, another truth about Ancestors and Descendants became very clear this weekend. Ancestors don’t require anything from their Descendants. The love and support they give are completely free of charge. In fact, during that same exercise, another participant from Asia shared that when her Ancestors spoke to her, they were overjoyed to see how she lived. They were thrilled to see the opportunities available to her that were not available to them. She, in turn, was extremely excited to know she could bring her Ancestors so much joy simply by living a happy, healthy, and prosperous life! And you can too! Not only do you have your Ancestors permission, that’s what they desire for you!

If you could use some assistance connecting with the love and support of your Ancestors, please reach out. I would be honored to share the gifts my Ancestors have shared with me to help you live a happy, healthy, and prosperous life. Through the miracle of technology, I am still offering Life Coaching and Family Constellations sessions. Please send me an email for more information and to schedule a session. 

Until next time, may you receive the love and support of your Ancestors and continue to touch the lives of your Descendants in miraculous ways…

With love in you, you have no need except to extend it.

A Course in Miracles ~ T-15.V.11:3

A Small Sign We are on the Right Track

With all the heaviness in the air this week, I needed another dance party for one on Sunday night. Once again, I closed the door to my office and moved my body to the beat of uplifting music for a few hours. It sure helped me feel better. I played another one of my favorite songs from my nights on South Beach called “Love One Another” by Amber. I have always loved the lyrics to this song, but this week they felt particularly relevant. 

Everybody black. Everybody white.

We are all the same. If we look inside. 

Knowing what we know. Why do we still fight?

Time for us to see the light… 

Love one another. Sisters and brothers!

Towards the end of my walk in the park on Tuesday, my energy began to fade. I needed an energy boost so I decided to listen to that song again. As Amber sang “Love One Another” in my ears, an older African American man approached from the other direction. He was moving very slowly, taking small, deliberate steps while carrying a full white plastic bag in one hand. As we passed each other, he lifted his free hand to give me the peace sign. I doubt he could hear the words of the song in my earbuds, but I don’t doubt that he could feel their loving energy radiating from my heart to his. With a deep sense of gratitude, I nodded to acknowledge his kind gesture. It touched me deeply. That’s when I noticed the bag he was carrying had the words “Thank You” printed all over it. The words on that bag felt like a little nudge from the Universe saying “Thank You” for taking a moment to recognize each other’s humanity. 

Chances are I will never see that man again, nor will I know if it was a significant moment for him. I know it was significant for me because I got a little teary-eyed sharing the story with a dear friend later that day. For me, it was a moment of connection, understanding, and healing. It’s what A Course in Miracles calls a holy instant. It also feels significant that this happened on the same day 60,000 people marched from Discovery Green Park to City Hall just a few blocks away in downtown Houston. The march was led by George Floyd’s family to peacefully protest his murder. I am holding the vision that recent events will inspire more of us than ever to embody the words of that song and simply “Love One Another.”

If you could use assistance in finding peace during these turbulent times, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Simply send me an email or look around my website.

Love does not conquer all things, but it does set all things right.

A Course in Miracles ~ T-4.VI.7:6

Let’s Do It Differently in Honor of Our Ancestors

My walks in the park this week in Houston have felt very different. After learning the heartbreaking details leading to the death of George Floyd, a Houston native, I found myself wanting to hold my hands to my heart and apologize to every black person I passed. The uncomfortable energy in the air has been palpable. Since it may not be the appropriate time or place to offer such sentiments out loud to passing strangers, I have been sharing them with my heart and eyes. 

Many of you reading this have experienced the transformational work known as Family Constellations. During these powerful healing sessions, we speak long overdue truth statements to clear the air, restore balance, and get love flowing again. In the spirit and tradition of this life-changing work, it feels appropriate to offer these words to any person of color or minority who has experienced prejudice or injustice, and especially to those in the black community:

I acknowledge and take responsibility for anything I, my family, or my ancestors have done to harm or mistreat you, your family, or your ancestors.

I see that you have suffered greatly from our choices and actions.

I see your humanity. 

We got caught up in something much bigger than us.

I recognize that we want the same things for ourselves and our families. 

We want to live happy, healthy lives with the ability to protect and provide for our families. 

We want to have the same opportunities to experience freedom, creativity, peace, love, and joy.

To honor each other and all of our ancestors, let’s do this differently. 

Let’s see each other’s humanity.

Let’s live in harmony by treating each other with respect, kindness, and equality. 

We are one human family.

I honor you.

Feel free to take these words as your own, adapt them where necessary, speak them out loud when appropriate, or simply share them with your heart and eyes when it’s not. Yes, it may be uncomfortable, but the results will be profoundly healing. I have been participating in and facilitating Family Constellations for the past 8 years. During this time, I have witnessed more miracles than I can count when participants take time to look into another human being’s eyes, see their humanity, acknowledge what happened, and commit to doing it differently to honor those who came before. 

I hope you will join me in being part of the solution. For more information about Family Constellations, please look around my website or send me an email. I would be honored to share some of the resources that have helped me begin to heal generations of inherited family trauma. 

The holiest of all spots on earth is where an ancient hatred has become a present love.

A Course in Miracles ~ T-26.IX.6:1