One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned during my 8 years facilitating Family Constellations is the importance of acknowledging and honoring everything, even the things that have caused me pain or that I don’t like. During both group and private sessions, I often ask my clients to face the person or object representing a past relationship, former job, or place where they have lived. Then I invite them to say, “Thank you for all the good times, the love, the laughter, the support, and also the not so good times, the challenges, the tears, and the lessons learned. I honor and acknowledge all of it. And I release you with love.” Then I ask the client to bow to the representative before turning around and walking into the future.
Admittedly, it is not always easy to do this, but it is so important and beneficial. If I continue to hold on to resentments or grievances toward something in my past, it is difficult if not impossible to turn around and walk away. My gaze is still focused on what was. It’s like trying to walk down the street backward. I’m bound to stumble over something or not end up where I want to go if I’m still looking behind me. Once I make peace with the past, I can turn around and walk forward.
This week a dear friend shared one of her New Year’s rituals with me. She makes one list of all the things that she is grateful for over the past year. Then she makes another list of what was challenging or didn’t work well. It’s kind of a “year in review” on paper to help visualize and recognize what areas of your life are flowing well and which ones are not. I decided to adopt that practice and add a Family Constellations component to it.
Honestly, I was amazed at how quickly I filled up an entire page with things I am grateful for this year. Yes, even in 2020! Then I turned the page over to write down the things that were challenging. Most of the things I wrote down were the big challenges that affected all of us this year, but there were some tough personal ones as well. Even so, I filled less than half a page and didn’t spend much time dwelling on them. I had already spent enough time dwelling on them last year. Then I placed a candle next to my lists and said the words I invite my clients to say:
“Dear 2020. Thank you for all the good times, the love, the laughter, and also the not so good times, the tears, and the lessons learned. I honor and acknowledge all of it. And I release you with love.”
Then I bowed to it and walked away. It may seem silly, but this exercise felt very freeing and empowering. Maybe it will for you too. If you’d like some assistance in releasing 2020 with love and welcoming 2021 with cheerful expectancy, I would be honored to help you with a series of Life Coaching sessions or a private Family Constellations session. Thanks to today’s technology, both can be done from anywhere in the world. You can look around my website for more information and send me an email to schedule an appointment.
Until next time, may you find a way to honor and acknowledge everything to usher in a happy and miraculous New Year!
So will the year begin in joy and freedom. There is much to do, and we have been long delayed. Accept the holy instant as this year is born, and take your place, so long left unfulfilled, in the Great Awakening.
A Course in Miracles ~ T-15.XI.10:8