The Should Shed

Are you trapped in the “Should Shed?” It’s that headspace where we tell ourselves all the things we should be doing instead of what we really want to be doing. Yes, we all have responsibilities and commitments that require our attention, but how often do we examine which of those things are truly necessary and which ones can wait or be released?

Just the other day, I escaped from the Should Shed. I was telling myself that I should sit at my desk for a few hours and create a new online Family Constellations event for February. There are quite a few steps involved in creating an event, so I should at least start the process. I also should answer a few emails before going to visit my sister, Gail.

Then I asked what love wanted to do that afternoon. Love wanted me to take advantage of the fact that, for a limited time, Gail is just 60 miles north of where I live. For the past several years, she and her husband have spent the month of January in Florida to get a break from the cold upstate New York winters. My plan was to drive up after lunch to see them. Unfortunately, my morning activities took longer than I anticipated, so no work happened before lunch.

It really was not a difficult decision. I did not want to sacrifice a few hours of quality time with Gail to do something that was not absolutely necessary in that moment. The workshop and emails could wait another day, so I hopped in my car and drove north. I got there in time to join her and her husband for a peaceful late afternoon walk along the beach. We walked and talked up the coast to a little shopping district and returned just in time to enjoy the gorgeous sunset from the back deck of their building. It never ceases to amaze me how the pinks, purples, oranges, and blues dance between the sky and sea as the bright yellow orb dips below the horizon. This one was no exception, as you can see by the photo above.

When Mother Nature finished showing off, we went up to their condo to prepare and eat a delicious pasta dinner followed by two sweet treats. I brought brownies, not knowing Gail had made blueberry angel food cake for dessert. By this time I had been out of the Should Shed for a few hours, so there was no question whether or not I should have some of each. 

We ended our visit watching one of our favorite TV shows: This is Us. Gail and I have been fans of the show for years but never had the opportunity to watch it together. In the past, we would text each other during or after the show when something unexpected happened or when the writers did an exceptionally good job at tugging our heartstrings. If you watch the show, you know it’s best to have a box of tissues nearby. I rarely get through an episode without my eyes leaking at least a little bit. Sometimes, when we knew the other hadn’t seen the latest episode yet, we would threaten to share what happened or make up something that didn’t happen just to throw each other off the trail. That’s just one of many silly games that we have created over the years.

Much like the siblings on the show, Gail and I have been through a lot together. I truly don’t know what I would have done without her during some of those dark periods of my childhood. What a gift to watch the stories of 3 siblings who love each other deeply while sitting next to one of my siblings who I love deeply. I don’t regret my decision to postpone work one bit. It was a great reminder that sometimes the things I think I should be doing are not really the things I should be doing if I want to live a joyful, peaceful life.

Are you trapped in the Should Shed? It would be my great honor to help you reevaluate your options and make choices that bring you joy. Please look around my website for more information about my Spiritual Coaching Sessions and private Family Constellations Sessions. Both can help you break free from the Should Shed. Give yourself the gift of freedom and send me an email to book an appointment. 

Until next time, I encourage you to examine your “shoulds” and see if they might unnecessarily  be keeping you from joy.

Be not content with future happiness. It has no meaning, and is not your just reward. For you have cause for freedom now. 

A Course in Miracles ~ T-26.VIII.9:1-3