It was 2007. I had been studying A Course in Miracles for about a year when life handed me one of my biggest forgiveness opportunities. It was a dramatic ending to a four-and-a-half-year romantic relationship. The details aren’t important. All you need to know is I was hurt and felt like a victim.
Thank goodness I had the Course and a good Spiritual Coach at the time. Both helped me not to project all of the blame onto my partner and to remember that relationships are mirrors. What upsets me is never anything “out there.” It always starts within. Who was I really mad at?
I can’t say that I was able to stay out of victim mode 100% of the time or that I never made my former partner the villain. I can say that I didn’t stay in that disempowered space too long. After much self-reflection and self-inquiry, I was able to see and own my part in what happened in our relationship.
Through mutual friends, I knew he had moved from Florida to Alabama, but for a few years we had little to no communication other than the occasional birthday or holiday text message. During that time, my study of the Course deepened and I was able to release any residual anger toward him and the situation. As painful as it was, I came to understand that everything unfolded perfectly so I could learn true forgiveness and some powerful life lessons.
Quite unexpectedly, my former partner reached out to me when he moved back to the Sunshine State. There was no emotional charge when I heard the message. Honestly, it was nice to hear his voice. I was curious to hear what was happening in his life and the lives of his family since I was quite close with them during our time together. We made plans to walk along Fort Lauderdale Beach the next morning.
Not only did we catch up, but we also talked openly about our relationship and what we would do differently. There was no blame or anger in our discussion, but there was a lot of laughter. That in itself is a miracle! And by miracle, I mean the definition given in the Course, a shift in perception from a fearful way of looking at a situation to a loving way.
Later, I showed him pictures on my phone of a chair and end tables that I was considering purchasing for my new apartment. He noticed that the chair I wanted was very similar to a chair we bought together 10 years ago. I replied “YES! That’s exactly the kind of chair I’m looking for.” I loved that chair. It was incredibly comfortable and a great spot for meditation.
He surprised me again by saying, “Do you want that chair? A friend of mine is keeping it for me and he doesn’t live far from you. Actually, he just texted me today asking if I needed any of my furniture back.” What?!?! His friend brought it to my apartment less than 24 hours later and I was reunited with my beloved chair! It was another miracle that would never have happened if I hadn’t released my grievances. To me, that was powerful evidence that A Course in Miracles works!
I’m not recommending you plan a beach walk with all of your exes, but I do encourage you to release any residual pain or anger you might be carrying toward them. It would be my great honor to assist you with a series of Spiritual Coaching Sessions where I’ll share some of the tools and insights I have learned from A Course in Miracles and my Spiritual Coach. You can book your first session now using the automated scheduler on my website.
To reveal and heal unhealthy familial patterns that repeat from generation to generation, consider scheduling a private Family Constellations Session or join me for an Upcoming Workshop. I look forward to being in sacred space with you!
Until next time, may you give yourself the gift of releasing unforgiving thoughts about any past or current relationships. Who knows? You might end up with some new furniture!
Love holds no grievances.
A Course in Miracles ~ Workbook Lesson 68