I was in second grade the first time it happened. My class went on a field trip to a local hospital and one of the stops on our tour was the blood lab. I did not enjoy seeing shelves of test tubes filled with blood. The next thing I knew I was laying on my back in the elevator with my entire class looking down at me while a nurse waved smelling salts under my nose. Apparently, I fainted shortly after leaving the blood lab.
For some reason, seeing blood outside the human body causes me great distress accompanied by a physiological reaction. It starts with sweaty palms and elevates to a full-body sweat as I become more and more light-headed. White patches start to form in my field of vision and then I pass out.
It happened again a few years later when I had to give blood during a physical exam to attend summer camp. The nurse took my blood, and as I walked back to the waiting room…down I went! I’m sure it was quite a show for the folks in the waiting room as it was for my second-grade class.
This aversion to giving blood also affects two of my siblings who also happen to be left-handed. My two right-handed siblings do not have a problem with it. I have since learned that my father also fainted when giving blood. What an interesting trait to pass down. I can only imagine what a hard time he must have had being poked all the time during his journey with cancer in the 1970s.
As for me, I hadn’t visited a doctor since I returned to Florida. With some nudging from friends and family, I reluctantly applied for health insurance through the Healthcare Marketplace again despite a very bad experience a few years ago. When my coverage began, I called to make an appointment with my new Primary Care Physician for a checkup. It was frustrating to discover that the doctor I chose worked in a hospital and did not see outside patients. Why was she an option on the health insurance website with a notation under her name claiming she was seeing new patients?
Immediately, I began questioning why I let myself be talked into getting back into this system that clearly still has issues. The woman on the phone informed me that not many doctors in the area are part of the health care plan I selected. This was just more evidence that I had made a mistake. However, she gave me the name and address of a clinic attached to a Walgreens that she heard accepted all insurance plans including mine. It was a place to start. And as luck would have it, this particular Walgreens was less than a mile from my home.
The next day, I decided to stop by that clinic to get a vibe on the place and see if they actually did take my insurance. What a pleasant surprise to discover what appeared to be a brand-new facility with a very clean and attractive waiting room. The receptionist at the front desk was extremely friendly and confirmed they accepted my insurance. She had an appointment for the following day so I booked it.
You can probably guess where this story is going. After answering a bunch of questions about my medical history and general health, it was time for the medical assistant assigned to me (I’ll call her Katie) to take my vitals and draw some blood. We had developed quite a bond by this time, and I warned her about my fainting history. She said not to worry. My chair would be reclined and she was prepared.
She began the task at hand while I looked away. I did my best to breathe deeply while Katie encouraged me to go to my happy place. “Go to the beach. Go to the beach!” she repeated. When that didn’t appear to be working, she switched gears and started asking what was in my oatmeal that morning. I did my best to stay with her, but by vial number four, my mind had had enough of that experience. Peace out!
The next thing I knew, there were at least three other people in the room, including the Nurse Practitioner who is my new Primary Care Provider. She was holding an ice pack to the back of my neck while wiping my sweaty forehead with a cloth. Someone was putting a blood pressure cuff on my arm to get my vitals. Poor Katie had to quickly finish the last vial and keep pressure on my arm while stretching her body several feet to open the sliding exam room door to call for help. I missed all of that!
Needless to say, I was a little embarrassed for causing such a scene. What a first impression I made in that clinic! They all assured me that it was no big deal. I wasn’t the first person to faint while having blood drawn. And I wouldn’t be the last. It was incredible to feel such compassion from these women who I knew for less than an hour. They took such good care of me during the whole experience. Gratitude swelled up in me like a tidal wave for these earth angels. It still does when I think about it now.
A Course in Miracles defines a miracle as a shift in perception from fear to love. By that definition, even though it was unpleasant, this was truly a miracle. The fearful thing I had resisted turned out to be a humbling experience where I received more love than I could have imagined. There is no doubt in my mind that Spirit guided me to the perfect place and the perfect caregivers so I could release my fear.
Is there something you have been resisting even though you know it will probably be for your highest good? I would be honored to assist you in shifting from fear to love with a series of Spiritual Coaching Sessions or a Private Family Constellations Session. Miracles happen all the time during these sessions. Please look around my website or send me an email for more information. You can also book a session with my automated scheduler. And thanks to the miracle of technology, we can meet online no matter where in the world you are. I look forward to working with you!
Around you angels hover lovingly, to keep away all darkened thoughts…
A Course in Miracles ~ T-26.IX.7:1
