Laughing at Myself

Spring has arrived in Florida. And the flowers at the entrance to my community bring me great joy!

One thing A Course in Miracles has helped me with is recognizing my split mind. One side comes from love and the other operates out of fear. There’s a lesson in the Course that invites you to set aside 30 minutes to write out all of the thoughts that cross your mind. The idea is to get them out on paper without editing or analyzing them. 

When the 30 minutes are up, go back and read them. You will most likely discover that some of your thoughts are in direct opposition to each other. “I’m going to start eating healthier. Maybe I’ll bring donuts to work tomorrow. I’m completely overwhelmed with my schedule. Should I start a new weekly meeting? I’m craving more time for myself. I wish my partner paid more attention to me.” How could we possibly be at peace while unknowingly holding these conflicting thoughts?

This week, a very clear and ridiculous example of my split mind revealed itself. I love that the grounds of my apartment community are very well maintained. The bushes and trees are trimmed, the sidewalks are clear, and colorful flowers greet me when I drive through the front entrance. It brings me great joy to see them!

Yet, when the landscaping crew arrives every Tuesday morning and the leaf blowers and lawn mowers start up at 8 AM, I am anything but joyful. How silly of me to be annoyed by the people responsible for keeping the grounds looking so beautiful. It makes no sense! But that is typical of the ego’s thought system. It is ripe with contradictions and judgments. It will use anything at its disposal to keep me feeling bad, no matter how nonsensical.

Now that doesn’t mean I have to love the sound of a leaf blower outside my window. I think we can all agree that sound is quite unpleasant. But, can I shift my thoughts from anger to gratitude when the noise starts?

By the way, on Tuesday mornings, I usually leave for my daily walk along Sarasota Bay soon after the crew arrives. This week, I was in the middle of my morning meditation when they arrived. Having recently noticed this crystal clear example of my split mind, I decided to stay put and extend love to them as part of my meditation practice. 

As the roar of the leaf blower got closer to my window, the visual that dropped into my mind surprised me. I saw the landscapers clearing debris from a path that led to a beautiful alcove in the forest. In my mind’s eye, I stepped into the clearing, sat down in the middle of the tall trees, and continued to breathe. Despite the obnoxious sound, I was smiling at this image and shift in perception.

When the time I set aside for meditation was over, I laced up my walking shoes, filled my Hydro Flask with water, and headed out the door for my walk. As I passed the crew, I gave them a head nod as I usually do, but sent them extra loving, grateful thoughts as well. Now my thoughts were in harmony, and it felt much better. 

This is just one small example of the conflicting thoughts that live in my head. There are plenty more to examine! Much like cleaning items out of a closet, I can take them out, observe how they make me feel, and then decide which ones to keep and which ones to release. If the thought doesn’t feel peaceful, loving, or joyful, it’s probably time to let it go.

It would be my great honor to help you clean out the closet of your mind and sort out any thoughts or beliefs that no longer serve. Both Spiritual Coaching and Family Constellations are great tools to help you do that. Please visit my website to learn more about these healing opportunities and to book a session. Thanks to technology, we can connect no matter where you are in the world. I look forward to clearing and sorting with you!

A split mind cannot perceive its fullness, and needs the miracle of its wholeness to dawn upon it and heal it.

A Course in Miracles ~ T-7.IX.4:4

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