Remember Me

Day of the Dead (Dia de Los Muertos) is a holiday that gives us the opportunity to celebrate the lives of our loved ones who have passed. Families honor their ancestors by creating “ofrendas” or offerings. These altars are decorated with candles, bright yellow marigolds, photos of the departed, and the favorite foods and drinks of the one being honored. Since this celebration happens today into tomorrow, November 1 & 2, it felt appropriate to share this expanded definition of ancestors and descendants again. Perhaps it will inspire you to light a candle, look at old photographs, or simply take a moment to remember all those who came before:

One of my most influential Family Constellations Teachers, Suzi Tucker, defines an ancestor as anyone who stands behind the people who stand behind us. Yes, this is our grandparents, great grandparents, and so on, but this definition does not limit an ancestor to those who pass down their DNA. It expands the definition to include teachers, mentors, therapists, counselors, and coaches. Truly anyone who has touched our lives in some significant way is an ancestor. 

By this definition, Michelle Blechner, Suzy Tucker, Mark Wolynn, and the many Constellations Mentors that have shaped my work, including the man who created Family Constellations, Bert Hellinger, are my ancestors. I also honor Helen Schucman, William Thetford, Ken Wapnick, Judy Skutch Whitson, and all those responsible for ushering  A Course in Miracles into the world. I acknowledge and thank Gary Renard and every ACIM Teacher and Facilitator who has helped me understand and apply these radical teachings to my life. I have tremendous respect and gratitude for all of my spiritual teachers along the way: Ministers from both Unity and Science of Mind, my Rose Quartz Family, and the staff at Educating Hands School of Massage in Miami. There are too many to name so I will just say thank you, ancestors!

Suzi also has an expanded definition of descendants. They are anyone whose life we touch that touches the lives of others. Of course, if you have children and grandchildren, they are your descendants. Nieces and nephews fall into this category, but so would any child whose life you have been a part of, regardless of blood relation. If you are a teacher, every student you have ever taught is a descendent. There are so many lives we touch every day whether from a formal mentoring or teaching role or just by the way we show up for them. 

By this definition, my Coaching Clients, Constellation Clients, and all those who have ever attended a Family Constellations Workshop or A Course in Miracles Study Group are my descendants. Take a moment to think about all the lives you have touched. It is extremely humbling to imagine how many people are in front of us. I am thrilled to know that a few members of my ACIM Study Groups have gone on to facilitate their own groups. Some who have attended my Constellations Training have begun to use the concepts and philosophy in their healing work. It brings me such joy to see these teachings being passed down and spreading out into the world.

An experience I had during a Constellations Conference gave me an even deeper appreciation of this concept. During an exercise, the facilitator put us into groups of 3 and instructed us to take turns representing ourselves while one person represented an ancestor and the other represented a descendant. I’ll never forget the feeling of immense gratitude that welled up in me while representing the descendant. As I looked at my teacher and my teacher’s teacher, I wondered how I could ever repay them for such a life-changing gift. And then it dawned on me. The best way to repay them was by sharing what I learned with others, thus allowing the gift to keep on giving.

If you’d like to experience some of the gifts I have been given, consider attending one or both of my weekly online A Course in Miracles Study Groups on Mondays and Fridays. Visit the Miracles page on my website for the times and information on how to join. 

For a one-of-a-kind opportunity to honor your ancestors while releasing unhealthy family patterns, join me for an upcoming Virtual Family Constellations Workshop. There are just two more scheduled in 2021. To prepare you for Thanksgiving, the first is “An Exploration of Belonging with Family Constellations” happening on Saturday, November 13 at 2PM Eastern,  1PM Central. Then, to help you navigate the holiday season, we will be “Balancing Giving and Receiving with Family Constellations” on Saturday, December 11 also at 2PM Eastern, 1PM Central. Visit the Upcoming Workshops page on my website for more information and to purchase your ticket. 

In the meantime, I trust you will find a way that has meaning to you to honor your ancestors, those that came before. Don’t forget to also take a moment to receive gratitude from your descendants, those that follow. I like to watch the Disney/Pixar film Coco at this time of year because it takes place in Mexico during El Dia de Los Muertos. Not only is it visually stunning, but the story will touch your heart. Please enjoy a little sample with the song “Remember Me” by clicking here.

Love must be extended. 

A Course in Miracles ~ T-28.II.2:2

Meet Your Ancestors and Descendants

This past weekend I attended a 3-Day Online Family Constellations Intensive. It was a virtual gathering of Constellations Facilitators from all over the globe who, like me, wanted to learn new skills and techniques for their practice. One of my first Constellations Teachers, Suzi Tucker, was one of the main presenters, which is why I registered for the event. Suzi is a master wordsmith as well as a skilled Constellations Facilitator. Her expanded yet simple definition of Ancestors and Descendants was one of my biggest takeaways from the weekend.

Suzi defined an Ancestor as anyone who stands behind the people who are standing behind us. Yes, this means our grandparents, great grandparents, and so on, but this definition does not limit an Ancestor to those who pass down their DNA. It expands the definition to include teachers, mentors, therapists, counselors, and coaches. Truly anyone who has touched our lives in some significant way is an Ancestor. 

This is not a new concept to me, but it was so nice to hear it expressed so clearly. Every year at the Big Sky Retreat we speak about all those who had a part in creating the first retreat 45 years ago. We honor the original President, Al Heard, who had an idea to create an event where people from different spiritual paths come together, share ideas, and meditate in a beautiful setting in nature. He and the other original Board Members are the Big Sky Retreat’s Ancestors. I am so grateful to all of them because this annual event has blessed my life in more ways than I can count. 

By this definition, Helen Schucman, William Thetford, Ken Wapnick, and all those responsible for ushering  A Course in Miracles into the world are my Ancestors. This is also true of every ACIM Teacher and Facilitator who has helped me understand and apply these life-changing teachings. I have tremendous respect and gratitude for all of my spiritual teachers along the way: Unity and Science of Mind Ministers, my rose quartz family, and the staff at Educating Hands School of Massage in Miami. I also honor the many Constellations Mentors that shaped my work, including the Father of Family Constellations, Bert Hellinger. Thank you, Ancestors!

Suzi also shared a beautiful definition of Descendants. They are anyone who’s lives we touch that touch the lives of others. If you have children and grandchildren, of course, they are your descendants, but this also includes any child you have parented regardless of blood relation. There are so many lives we touch every day whether we are in a formal mentoring or teaching role or just by the way we show up for them. By this definition, my clients are my Descendants. It is extremely gratifying when one sends me a photo of themself holding their first copy of A Course in Miracles. A few members of the circles I have facilitated have gone on to facilitate their own groups. Some who have attended Constellations Training with me have begun to use the concepts and philosophy in their healing work. It evokes such joy in me to see these teachings being passed down and spreading out into the world.

One of the exercises we did during the weekend intensive gave me an even deeper appreciation of this. We were put into groups of 3 and instructed to take turns representing ourselves while picking one person to represent an Ancestor and the other to represent a Descendant. I’ll never forget the feeling of immense gratitude that welled up in me while representing the Descendant as I looked at my teacher and my teacher’s teacher. I wondered how I could ever repay them for such a life-changing gift. And then it dawned on me. The best way to repay them was by sharing what I learned with others, thus allowing the gift to keep on giving. It gave me renewed inspiration to continue sharing the gifts I’ve been given.

Along those lines, another truth about Ancestors and Descendants became very clear this weekend. Ancestors don’t require anything from their Descendants. The love and support they give are completely free of charge. In fact, during that same exercise, another participant from Asia shared that when her Ancestors spoke to her, they were overjoyed to see how she lived. They were thrilled to see the opportunities available to her that were not available to them. She, in turn, was extremely excited to know she could bring her Ancestors so much joy simply by living a happy, healthy, and prosperous life! And you can too! Not only do you have your Ancestors permission, that’s what they desire for you!

If you could use some assistance connecting with the love and support of your Ancestors, please reach out. I would be honored to share the gifts my Ancestors have shared with me to help you live a happy, healthy, and prosperous life. Through the miracle of technology, I am still offering Life Coaching and Family Constellations sessions. Please send me an email for more information and to schedule a session. 

Until next time, may you receive the love and support of your Ancestors and continue to touch the lives of your Descendants in miraculous ways…

With love in you, you have no need except to extend it.

A Course in Miracles ~ T-15.V.11:3

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