Remember Me

Day of the Dead (Dia de Los Muertos) is a holiday that gives us the opportunity to celebrate the lives of our loved ones who have passed. Families honor their ancestors by creating “ofrendas” or offerings. These altars are decorated with candles, bright yellow marigolds, photos of the departed, and the favorite foods and drinks of the one being honored. Since this celebration happens today into tomorrow, November 1 & 2, it felt appropriate to share this expanded definition of ancestors and descendants again. Perhaps it will inspire you to light a candle, look at old photographs, or simply take a moment to remember all those who came before:

One of my most influential Family Constellations Teachers, Suzi Tucker, defines an ancestor as anyone who stands behind the people who stand behind us. Yes, this is our grandparents, great grandparents, and so on, but this definition does not limit an ancestor to those who pass down their DNA. It expands the definition to include teachers, mentors, therapists, counselors, and coaches. Truly anyone who has touched our lives in some significant way is an ancestor. 

By this definition, Michelle Blechner, Suzy Tucker, Mark Wolynn, and the many Constellations Mentors that have shaped my work, including the man who created Family Constellations, Bert Hellinger, are my ancestors. I also honor Helen Schucman, William Thetford, Ken Wapnick, Judy Skutch Whitson, and all those responsible for ushering  A Course in Miracles into the world. I acknowledge and thank Gary Renard and every ACIM Teacher and Facilitator who has helped me understand and apply these radical teachings to my life. I have tremendous respect and gratitude for all of my spiritual teachers along the way: Ministers from both Unity and Science of Mind, my Rose Quartz Family, and the staff at Educating Hands School of Massage in Miami. There are too many to name so I will just say thank you, ancestors!

Suzi also has an expanded definition of descendants. They are anyone whose life we touch that touches the lives of others. Of course, if you have children and grandchildren, they are your descendants. Nieces and nephews fall into this category, but so would any child whose life you have been a part of, regardless of blood relation. If you are a teacher, every student you have ever taught is a descendent. There are so many lives we touch every day whether from a formal mentoring or teaching role or just by the way we show up for them. 

By this definition, my Coaching Clients, Constellation Clients, and all those who have ever attended a Family Constellations Workshop or A Course in Miracles Study Group are my descendants. Take a moment to think about all the lives you have touched. It is extremely humbling to imagine how many people are in front of us. I am thrilled to know that a few members of my ACIM Study Groups have gone on to facilitate their own groups. Some who have attended my Constellations Training have begun to use the concepts and philosophy in their healing work. It brings me such joy to see these teachings being passed down and spreading out into the world.

An experience I had during a Constellations Conference gave me an even deeper appreciation of this concept. During an exercise, the facilitator put us into groups of 3 and instructed us to take turns representing ourselves while one person represented an ancestor and the other represented a descendant. I’ll never forget the feeling of immense gratitude that welled up in me while representing the descendant. As I looked at my teacher and my teacher’s teacher, I wondered how I could ever repay them for such a life-changing gift. And then it dawned on me. The best way to repay them was by sharing what I learned with others, thus allowing the gift to keep on giving.

If you’d like to experience some of the gifts I have been given, consider attending one or both of my weekly online A Course in Miracles Study Groups on Mondays and Fridays. Visit the Miracles page on my website for the times and information on how to join. 

For a one-of-a-kind opportunity to honor your ancestors while releasing unhealthy family patterns, join me for an upcoming Virtual Family Constellations Workshop. There are just two more scheduled in 2021. To prepare you for Thanksgiving, the first is “An Exploration of Belonging with Family Constellations” happening on Saturday, November 13 at 2PM Eastern,  1PM Central. Then, to help you navigate the holiday season, we will be “Balancing Giving and Receiving with Family Constellations” on Saturday, December 11 also at 2PM Eastern, 1PM Central. Visit the Upcoming Workshops page on my website for more information and to purchase your ticket. 

In the meantime, I trust you will find a way that has meaning to you to honor your ancestors, those that came before. Don’t forget to also take a moment to receive gratitude from your descendants, those that follow. I like to watch the Disney/Pixar film Coco at this time of year because it takes place in Mexico during El Dia de Los Muertos. Not only is it visually stunning, but the story will touch your heart. Please enjoy a little sample with the song “Remember Me” by clicking here.

Love must be extended. 

A Course in Miracles ~ T-28.II.2:2

A Magical Cosmic Wink

I took this photo from Artist Point at Yellowstone National Park.

The dictionary defines a synchronicity as “the simultaneous occurrence of events which appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection.” I like to think of synchronicities as cosmic winks from the Universe reminding me that everything is connected in Oneness, and I am always right where I need to be. One such convergence of elements happened last week while I was in Montana. 

I had just finished teaching Donna Eden’s 5-minute Daily Energy Medicine Routine to a group of early risers at the Big Sky Retreat during the morning session called “Energize Your Day.” At one point during the routine, we marched in place, touching our knees with our opposite hands to connect the energy on both sides of our bodies. I made a silly reference to marching like a toy soldier in the Christmas Parade at Disney World, which I happened to do in 1993. After hearing this, my friend and co-facilitator, Michael Benjamin, teased me about always playing the “Disney Card” by mentioning my time there as a performer. “How am I supposed to compete with that?” he joked, and we all had a good laugh.

Afterward, I met up with my dear friend, Dr. Charles Geddes, at the only restaurant in the Big Sky Resort that serves breakfast. We soon discovered we weren’t the only large group at the resort. When we walked up to the podium, the hostess asked us if we were with Disney! Her question stumped me for a moment when suddenly I recognized the music playing in the restaurant was from Disney’s animated film Pocahontas. That’s when things got weird as a convergence of seemingly unrelated elements flooded my mind and took me back in time 25 years!

In addition to being a toy soldier, one of the roles I played at Disney World was Captain John Smith from Pocahontas. I portrayed him for a whole year in 1996 at a character breakfast featuring characters from the movie. Pocahontas, John Smith, Meeko, and Governor Ratcliffe went table to table at a restaurant called Artist Point in the Wilderness Lodge. At the time, I did not know Artist Point was the name of a spectacular scenic overlook at the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone, nor did I know the Wilderness Lodges was themed after the Old Faithful Inn at Yellowstone National Park. My first visit to that hotel in 2014 with Charles was strangely familiar, although I had never been there! This year prior to the retreat, my sister and I visited Yellowstone and our last stop of the day was Artist Point. I specifically asked her to take a photo of me next to the sign so I could send it to my beloved friend who played Pocahontas. 

Here I was a few days later, standing at the entrance to a restaurant for breakfast hearing Pocahontas sing “Just Around the Riverbend” as the hostess asked us if we were “with Disney” moments after my friend teased me about working for Disney. It was almost too much for my brain to process! I reluctantly answered “no,” but I did share with her the synchronistic moment I was experiencing as she showed us to our table. It was a perfect, magical setting to reconnect with my magical friend, Charles, on his birthday. Disney tunes played throughout our meal and I loved every minute of it. What a wonderful cosmic wink from the Universe reminding me that I was right where I was supposed to be. 

Has it been a while since you received a cosmic wink like that? Have you felt out of place or out of sorts with all the changes happening in the world? During these uncertain times, it can be very challenging to feel connected to something greater than ourselves. It would be my great honor to create a space where you can feel that connection again with a series of Life Coaching sessions or during a private or group Family Constellations session. Cosmic winks happen all the time during Family Constellations. Please look around my website for more information about one-on-one sessions and how to join my next online group session where we will take “A Fresh Look at Relationships with Family Constellations.” Feel free to send me an email with any questions you may have or to book a session.

Until next time, may you notice all the ways the Universe is winking at you to remind you that you are right where you are supposed to be and all is well. 

A major contribution of miracles is their strength in releasing you from your false sense of isolation, deprivation and lack.

A Course in Miracles ~ T-1.I.42:1

A Trustworthy Dragon

Disney’s latest animated feature, Raya and the Last Dragon, is another beautifully crafted movie with a powerful and timely message. Not only does it illustrate the importance of unity, but it also celebrates diversity within the Asian community. The creators of this film could not have known it would be released at a time when so many of our sisters and brothers of Asian descent are experiencing hate and prejudice. I choose to believe the Universe (and maybe a dragon or two) had a hand in the timing of its release to bring some joy, hope, and light to a dark and challenging time. 

The story follows a young girl named Raya who witnesses the chaos and destruction that happens when five different lands stop trusting each other and separate. She is accompanied on her journey by the “last dragon” (voiced by the hilarious Awkwafina) who tries to teach her that the only way to achieve her goals and unite the lands is to open her heart and start trusting again. Having suffered a great loss because of a betrayal, Raya has a difficult time doing this. I’m guessing most of us can relate to that, especially in these uncertain and divisive times. I won’t give away the ending, but it is definitely a testament to the magical power of trust and unity. 

I am not proud to admit I did a poor job of opening my heart the day after I watched that movie with our out-of-town guests. While waiting in line to purchase tickets to the train that travels through Hermann Park, we were “serenaded” by a small group of women and men singing a less than inspiring version of Amazing Grace. They were not quite in tune or in harmony. After the song, two of the men stood on a large rock preaching their ideas about Jesus, sin, and salvation to the captive audience waiting in line for tickets. Their language and message felt infused with fear, making it out of tune with my heart, just like the off-key version of Amazing Grace. It was very uncomfortable and I found myself wishing they would just stop talking. I wasn’t standing on a rock trying to convince everyone to study A Course in Miracles, so why was it okay for them to spout their beliefs? 

I don’t know why I allowed them to ruin my experience of an otherwise enjoyable day. Perhaps I was just tired, but in that moment, I simply was not able to shift my perception. I found the whole experience to be very irritating. About twenty minutes later, they finally stopped preaching, we got our tickets, had a lovely train ride, and went about our day. 

The next morning I was still thinking about that situation and what I could have done differently. What would Love do? I imagined myself approaching the men and sharing how their actions were probably repelling people more than attracting them. I could have suggested they sit on the rock and pray silently while extending love to everyone at the park. Perhaps instead of handing out their printed propaganda to everyone that walked by they could give it only to those that approached them for more information. Then Love showed me a bigger truth. 

Instead of closing my heart with judgment and wishing they acted differently, I could have silently extended love to them. Thank goodness I have learned that it’s never too late to make a different choice, so I imagined love surrounding all of the people that irritated me that day in the park. As I result, I felt better. Had I been with a dragon voiced by Awkwafina, I think she would have been pleased.

Are there people in your life with a special knack for irritating you? Perhaps they share some of your DNA or live or work with you. I would be honored to be your trustworthy dragon and help you experience more peace in your life with a series of Life Coaching sessions or with a one-on-one Family Constellations Session. For more information or to book a session, please look around my website or send me an email

Until next time, may you find a trustworthy companion that helps you keep your heart open and love flowing.

Only what you have not given can be lacking in any situation.

A Course in Miracles ~ T-17.VII.4:1 

May the Force Be With You!

I’ve just returned from Galaxy’s Edge, the new Star Wars themed area at the Disney Hollywood Studios in Orlando. (**Spoiler Alert** Best not to read paragraph 4 if you want no information about the new rides.) My inner child was thrilled to have the opportunity to pilot the Millennium Falcon, the spaceship featured so prominently in the movies. Of course, my inner child is happy whenever I get to spend time in a Disney theme park, which is why my partner and I added a day to our business trip to Central Florida last week. This was an especially fun Disney visit because my sister, her husband, and my dear friend Carrie drove over from Florida’s west coast to join us. What a fun group!

Whenever I’m in a Disney theme park with a group of people, I feel slightly responsible for everyone having a good time. I know it’s a throwback from my 7 years as a cast member in the 90s. When friends and family would visit, I was the one who organized and planned our day because I knew the lay of the land. Over the years, I learned it was best to not plan too much and simply allow the day to unfold. It’s okay to have a guideline, but you need to be flexible when things change. Not only is this a good strategy for a day in a theme park, but it’s also pretty good advice for life too.

Flexibility came into play from the very beginning. On the evening before our visit, I found out the park was opening an hour earlier than was listed on the website. To ride the newest attraction, “Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance together, my friends and family would have to get up super early to meet us at the front entrance by 6:30 AM! I gave them the option to meet us later, but they were all in for the full experience. It turned out that extra hour helped them avoid Tampa traffic on the way over. We all converged at the perfect time and I was able to get us a highly coveted boarding pass for that ride at precisely 7 AM. Even though we were very tired at that early hour before the sun came up, it was quite an exhilarating moment!

After that small triumph, we followed the masses to Galaxy’s Edge to ride “Millennium Falcon: Smugglers Run.” Despite signs claiming a 75-minute wait, we were in the cockpit just half an hour later. What a fun way to start the day! It set the tone for the rest of the day to flow beautifully. Even our late lunch reservation turned out to be a blessing. Our boarding group for “Rise of the Resistance” was summoned shortly after twelve while most park guests were eating lunch. We breezed through the cue area and onto a shuttlecraft to begin our recruit training. It was a heart-stopping moment when we were captured by the First Order and the doors of our shuttlecraft opened to a cavernous room on a Star Destroyer filled with rows of stormtroopers in front of a huge window looking out into space. I won’t share what happened next, but you can safely assume we escaped since I’m writing these words.

Earlier in our day, we had a moment of indecision over which of two popular attractions to visit next. According to the app, both had a wait time of about an hour. One was steps away, the other was on the other side of the park. One might say I used the Force to determine which way to go. I closed my eyes and asked Spirit which ride was our highest choice. I got tingles through my body when I thought of the closer ride telling me that was the best choice. No tingles for the other one. That guidance proved to be spot on when the other ride’s wait time decreased to only 25 minutes later in the day. True, this was not a big life decision, but it was a great reminder to ask for guidance whenever I’m in doubt.

At the end of the day, I checked the wait times on the app one last time. I was shocked to see the wait time for “Millennium Falcon: Smugglers Run” had dropped from 75 to 30 minutes. We all loved that ride, so we decided to end our day the same way it began. This time my sister and Carrie were the pilots. All I can say is, “Sorry, Chewie! I hope you can fix the Falcon!” We had a wonderful day, albeit a tiring one. It was truly a testament to what can happen when we don’t plan every single minute and leave room for Spirit to guide us. My guidance to write about this experience was confirmed when I received this message in a daily inspirational email from Neale Donald Walsch that very morning:

It is okay to want to make lots of plans, but it is also okay to make lots of room for that which planning can never produce.

If you could use some assistance in making room for that which planning can never produce, consider giving yourself the gift of Life Coaching or a private Family Constellations session. Both produce miracles. Please look around my website or send me an email for more information and to schedule a session.

Until next time, may the Force be with you…

A Fantastic Friday

While many here in the U.S. will feel like this Friday is fantastic because of the great bargains they find, my Fantastic Friday was last week. I had the opportunity to spend the day with my sister Judy in Orlando. When we were younger we used to do a lot together just the two of us. She took me to Europe for two weeks as my high school graduation present. Many people on our tour were amazed that siblings would actually choose to travel together. We had a great time and many adventures, including missing our flight home. Oops! We were stranded in Athens for two extra days.

Before Europe, Judy and I made many trips to the local mall where we both enjoyed a Strawberry Julius, a hot dog, or a soft pretzel. We also spent a lot of time at the local bowling alley, not bowling, but feeding quarters to the Ms. Pac-Man machine. We played until our wrists hurt trying to outsmart those ghosts and best each other! When I was just a little guy I remember standing on the couch so I’d be the same height as Judy while we danced to her Donna Summer albums. We enjoyed a lot of the same things despite our 8-year age difference.

Well, for the last two decades or so, Judy and I have been very busy running our businesses. We have been together at various family gatherings like Thanksgiving, Christmas, or the annual Moore Family summer vacation, but we haven’t had much one-on-one time. When I moved to Texas several months ago I wasn’t sure I would still be able to meet up with her in Orlando. When I lived in Fort Lauderdale I could simply get in my car and drive 4 hours north on the Florida Turnpike, but it takes a little more planning now.

I’m so grateful that I asked Spirit for guidance and a way to make this happen. That’s when I thought of my dear friend Rev. Cindy Grimes at the Center for Spiritual Living in Ocala, which is just 75 miles from Orlando. I met Cindy at the Big Sky Retreat in 2016 and have been to her amazing community to speak and do workshops a few times since then. I was thrilled when Cindy said the following weekend was open and she’d love to have me come to facilitate more Family Constellations. I was able to combine this trip to see my sister with an opportunity to share the work that lights me up, thus turning it into a win/win, the only kind of win in the eyes of Spirit.

Before our Fantastic Friday, we had a magical day at Universal Studios on Thursday with my partner and another beloved friend. We thoroughly enjoyed exploring the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and dozens of other fun rides. Our two companions had to travel to other states on Friday, so Judy and I had our alone time.

I arrived at her hotel around 11 AM and we headed to Disney Springs to have lunch surrounded by dinosaurs and giant jellyfish at the T-Rex Restaurant. Our hostess sat us right next to a beautiful aquarium full of colorful tropical fish. It was the perfect setting for two kids at heart to catch up. We shared some of our recent struggles and triumphs and laughed a lot just like old times. After lunch, we strolled around the shops a little before finding a nice spot to sit and talk some more. As our time together was coming to a close, we decided to make one last pit stop at the Candy Cauldron. It turns out we both love Mickey Mouse shaped Rice Krispie treats. That was just one of the many things we discovered we still have in common.

Judy and I both got a little teary-eyed when I dropped her off at her hotel so she could join her family for Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party. I drove back to my hotel at Universal Studios, enjoyed a walk, had some dinner, and then returned to my room to do some work. It was a little before 10 o’clock when I climbed into bed to read before retiring for the day. A few minutes later I heard loud popping noises outside. I looked up from my book to see the sky illuminated with bursts of colored lights way off in the distance. I knew it must be the fireworks over the Magic Kingdom where my sister was attending the Christmas Party. What a spectacular way to end our Fantastic Friday! Spirit found a way to connect us once again with something we both enjoy.

This time of year often comes with as much sadness and stress as it does joy and peace. It would be my great honor to assist you in having more of the latter through a series of Life Coaching Sessions and/or a Family Constellations session. I encourage you to ask Spirit if perhaps now is the time to take a look at what might be going on under the surface and make some lasting changes to make this New Year your best one yet! Please visit my website or send me an email for more information and to schedule a session.

Until next time, may all your days be filled with fantastic surprises!

“Be certain any answer to a problem the Holy Spirit solves will always be one in which no one loses.”
A Course in Miracles T-25.IX.3

A Magical Disney Nightmare

john.pamme.on.parade.4.97

Many have heard me say, “You can take the boy out of Disney, but you can’t take the Disney out of the boy.”  The seven years I worked at Disney World as a puppeteer and parade performer were some of my happiest.  Even though I left in 2000, I still have dreams about it.  Most are enjoyable, but there is one recurring dream that is not so pleasant.  I had it again this morning.  In this dream, I am working at Disney again, but everything has changed.  I don’t know anyone.  I don’t know where to sign in, or where to get my costume.  I am either too embarrassed or there is nobody around to ask, so I wander around the tunnels under the Magic Kingdom confused and frustrated.  If I find my way, new complications arise.  I forget my locker combination so I can’t change into my costume, and then I miss the bus to parade step off, so I have to walk there.  When I finally arrive, my float is going out the gate, so I have to run to catch up with my unit.  Once I do, I realize I don’t remember the dance routine!  

It is always such a relief when I realize I’m dreaming.  Once my heart rate and breathing return to normal, I look for the message.  One time in this magical Disney nightmare, I remember I decided to make up my own dance moves as I traveled down the street.  It occurred to me that the guests wouldn’t know I wasn’t supposed to be doing my own thing.  I had so much fun dancing to the beat of my own drum!  It seems I got the message.  Sometimes we cause ourselves a lot of stress by trying to do what everyone else is doing or what is expected of us.  It was such a liberating feeling!  In today’s dream, I was so disoriented that I had to surrender and ask someone for help.  The parade coordinator I found showed me everything I needed to know.  It was so simple.  All I had to do was ask.  What a great reminder to ask for help when I need it.  I don’t always remember to do this.  I get too busy or I think I should be able to handle things on my own.

This weekend my schedule was very full, and after pondering this dream, I understood why I received this message.  I had forgotten to ask Holy Spirit to help me make all of my decisions for the day the past few mornings.  This practice helps me undo my ego by turning to a power and an awareness greater than myself.  It doesn’t matter what you call it, just ask it for help.  I happen to use this mantra from Lesson 71 in A Course in Miracles.  

What would You have me do?

Where would You have me go?

What would You have me say, and to whom?

I like to start my day with questions and not affirmations.  Sometimes using the word “I” in an affirmation is an attempt by the ego to make me feel special, and thus separate.  The whole point is to dissolve the illusion of separation and surrender to the oneness.  That Presence sees the entire picture: past, present, and future.  It knows what is best for me and everyone involved, so why not defer to that knowing rather than my own limited “I” point of view?  Surrendering is what works for me, but if you like using the word “I’ in your morning mantras, and it is working for you… Wonderful!  Keep doing it!  Click HERE to watch a short three minute video on this topic.  Feel free to share this video and your morning mantras and start of day spiritual practices in the “comments” section.  I’d love to know what works for you.

How do I discern whether I am listening to the voice of Love or the voice of fear?  I consciously put my hand on my heart, ask the question, and if I feel peaceful about the answer that comes to me, I know it is coming from Love.  If I feel agitated, anxious, or righteous, then I know it’s my sneaky ego.  If you have trouble discerning these two voices, I would be honored to assist you.  My Life Coaching and Family Constellations are based on the strong principles of A Course in Miracles, and both can help you tune in to the voice of Love.  To learn more about them and to schedule a session, please visit my website.  Until next time, may all your days begin and end with peace.

Subscribe and receive a FREE GIFT!

Join our mailing list to receive weekly inspiration, news about upcoming events, and a link to a FREE GUIDED MEDITATION.

You have Successfully Subscribed!